90’s Knowledge

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We could sit here all day and discuss how awesome movies from the 90’s were. Instead, I have chosen to spit some knowledge at you, 90’s movie style:

“Give up hope–Dreams are for suckers.” —Don’t Be a Menace

“Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.” —Clueless

`“Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.” —Billy Madison

“Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.” —Billy Madison

“Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.” —Empire Records

“You got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.” —Friday

“Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting… Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box ’cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside…Why shouldn’t it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?…The point is, how do you know the fairy isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Building model airplanes” says the little fairy; well, we’re not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that’s all it takes. The next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser, and your daughter’s knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.” —Tommy Boy

“What, if any, is the difference between a ho and a bitch?” “A ho fucks anybody...a bitch fucks everybody but you.” –Fear of a Black Hat

“It’s a small world when you’ve got unbelievable tits Roy.” –Kingpin

Who would have thought these movies were filled with such powerful life lessons?!

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who think the red/green lights at on-ramps are the word of God

Quote of the Day: See above

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Lady Gaga

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Lady Gaga is fucking legendary.  I absolutely love her, and it is a love that borders on obsession.  It’s not so much an obsession with her theatrics and costumes as much as it is her fucking  music.  It’s the greatest.  And I know I’m not alone in believing her to be truly awesome– since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, check out these videos:

This one is hilarious, by some talented dudes (keep watching til at least 2:45, but really you won’t regret watching it all):

This isn’t better than Cartman’s, but it’s close!

And, because it never gets old:

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t appreciate the value of pop music

Quote of the Day: “When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.” –Lady Gaga

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The Box

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Do you remember the Box music video channel?  It was fucking awesome and I know me and my brother requested our fair share of videos on it.  For those of you youngins or unhip, it was a music video station that “you controlled.”  You could call in (unbeknownst to your parents) and for $1.99 or something request a music video.  And they had EVERY music video known to man.  In fact, it was pretty gangsta.  I definitely recall requesting D.R.S.’s Gangsta Lean(which is on my iPod and should be on yours too…)

This is kind of a shitty video and is apparently from the UK but you still get the gist and memories:

Here’s a video not only showing how awesome the Box was, but how awesome 1993 was.  (It loads a little slow but have patience, it’s worth it!)  Why are there no more music videos in the world??

According to Wikipedia, the Box was bought by those fuckers at MTV in 1999 and became MTV2.  I guess MTV decided they didn’t want anyone showing music videos. 

Pet Peeve of the Day: The demise of music videos

Quote of the Day: “Baseball is dull only to dull minds.” –Red Barber

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I enjoy a good bumper sticker more than your average person.  I think they tell a lot about a person and help me determine who I have to cut off on the road or not. For example, the witty bumper sticker is always the way to go. The Anti-Bush or Honor Roll bumper stickers scream lame and you will be cut off or beeped at. (Remind me to one day blog about how I am bringing horn honking back–seriously when and why did people stop doing this???)

Anyway, an old bf had a bumper sticker that said “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”  If that dog had been changed to cat I would definitely be rockin that bumper sticker.  Below, a few of my favorite (and a peek into my Republican-loving lifestyle!):

I had the pleasure of seeing this one in person once and I was dying laughing. Spot on!

I have seen this one before too.  (And to anyone taking notes on what to get me for Christmas…)

Hehehe… too soon? (There’s a similar one that says “if I’m paying your healthcare” too!)

Those crazy Canadians…


Anything that involves beating up hippies is good by me!

This one made me smile!  Cuteness.

I assume this one is only sold to Hummer owners.

Indeed.  Times a million.

Any funny ones you guys have seen out there that I’m missing??  (And by funny I don’t mean the “Re-Elect Gore ’08” ones…)

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “Show me something built to last, or something built to try.” –Grateful Dead


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An Ode to Grape G2

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I stayed out too late last night, this morning I’m an awful sight.

I can’t get out of bed, there’s suffering in my head.

I know what I need—to Walgreen’s I must proceed

for the delicious nectar that serves as my protector.

It cures my ailments from the previous nights derailments

and brings me back to life with the grace of a surgical knife.

It is purple, delicious, low calorie—affordable on any salary.

I will always long for Grape G2 when I’ve had one too many brew.

Fruit punch will make me lose my lunch

I hate lemon-lime and orange doesn’t rhyme.

Grape is the only solution — There will be no substitution.

Pet Peeve of the Day: Nutmeg

Quote of the Day: “You can’t sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock.  You’ve got to throw the ball over the damn plate and give the other man his chance.  That’s why baseball is the greatest game of them all.” –Earl Weaver

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