(Every Wednesday starting today will be a post about a prized possession of mine until I run out of things that are prized.  Cuz I’m materialistic like that.)

I love hats.  My hair often looks like a shit’s piece and I’m not really and wash and go kind of gal so hats are sometimes necessary for me to get out the door, especially in winter.  Plus, hat parties are my favorite kind of parties.  (You wear awesome hats and take hilarious pictures… hammered drunk).  Especially when hosted by my boy Teej… he’ll even bust out the vintage hats!

My absolute favorite hat is my furry Bears hat.  I got this about 4 or 5 years ago and I wear it every Bears Sunday (except September games cuz it’s usually too hot).  I wear it whether I’m going to the game, watching it at a bar, or watching at home.  People always ask me where I got it and I’m shocked that it hasn’t become more popular (i.e. for sale in every Bears store).  I got it on eBay so that’s where I always tell people to go.  Plus, I got a little slice of styrofoam cheese with my hat!  It was in the Bears mouth when it arrived; so awesome.  (Packers aka “Cheeseheads” are our rivals for the NFL illiterate).

My second favorite hat is one I rarely wear anymore because it’s soooo old and pretty dirty.  It is a camoflague trucker hat with a skull and crossbones.  Pretty much a hat that was made for me.  It’s 7 years old and I’m sure I could replace it but it just wouldn’t be the same.  And my mom yells at me for wearing it… guess it’s not so lady-like or age appropriate these days.  She must think I care what people think…

And rounding out the rest of the collection is a bright orange camo hat I got many moons ago on my 21st birthday from Matty.  He even added some awesome pins to it that say: “If you don’t like my attitude quit talking to me” and “Criticism: Just one more service I offer.”  Legendary.  I also have a camo hunting hat lined with rabbit fur (hi PETA!) that helps me survive Chicago winters. 

The latest addition to my collection is my Captain’s hat.  I have had my eye on this hat for a few months now but I have been hesitant to pull the trigger due to prices I was seeing online.  But I found this one on a trip to a party store with my mom for only six bucks!  Since most of my hats are winter hats, I’m jacked as hell to bust this one out this summer!

Oh, and the chicken hat is Klinker’s.  She has a small hat collection.

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t let others get off the bus/train before getting on

Quote of the Day: “I suppose… the need to focus never arose.” –Jimmy Buffett

I say a lot of weird shit.  I don’t call anybody by their real names (and if I do it probably means I don’t like you or know you that well), I make up some words, and say some unusual ones.  Here’s a vocab lesson to help keep you on your toes around here:

Vom: Short for vomit.  As used in a sentence: “A shot of tequila or Jameson makes me wanna vom.”

Annoy2k: I am fairly certain Biggie’s friend from college, Marcy, introduced me to the simple “annoy” to describe something as annoying.  I wanted to take it one step further, and the year was 1999.  Hence, Annoy2k, the most annoying of all annoying things.  As used in a sentence: “The Cardinals got DeRosa?  Wow, annoy2k!”

What’s tha date:  I’m not asking you what the date is.  It’s more like, I didn’t hear you/what’d you say?  As used in a sentence: “Wait, what’s tha date?”

Mobile: Cell Phone.  As used in a sentence: “Klinker, where the hell is my mobile?!”

Vale (Bah-lay):  It’s Spanish for ok, yeah, agreed, etc.  I use it quite liberally and whenever I feel like it.  As used in a sentence: “I will meet you there.  Vale.  Vale.  Vale, vale vale!!”

Euro:  No, not my favorite currency.  Urinate.  As used in a sentence: “I just chugged a bunch of water and now I gotta euro.”

Shit’s piece:  I was asking my Italian friend to provide me with some Italian terms and phrases I could use.  (He doesn’t speak English that well.)  So he sent me a list and on it was some Italian term translated by him to say “shit’s piece.”  I thought that was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard.  I knew he meant to say “piece of shit” but goddamn if shit’s piece isn’t funnier and more descriptive!  As used in a sentence: “That weirdo that kept stalking us at the bar was a fuckin’ shit’s piece!”

I also use a variety of Aussie phrases as I love Australians and strive to be more like them:

Jumper:  Basically a hoodie or sweater.  As used in a sentence: “It’s so cold, I better go put my jumper on.”

Runners:  Gym shoes.  As used in a sentence: “I wish I didn’t have a need for runners but I guess exercise is kind of necessary.”

Sunnies:  Sunglasses.  As used in a sentence: “I’m gonna wear my sunnies inside so people will think I’m a celebrity!”

And a term I made up based on Aussie-ness:

Flippies:  Flip-flops.  As used in a sentence: “I love wearing my flippies in the summer.”

I am sure I am forgetting some… but if you’re curious about what something I say means, just ask!  More often than not it’s just some nonsense…

Pet Peeve of the Day: The smell of blown out candles

Quote of the Day: “And she made a vow, to have it all, it became her new religion.” –Tom Petty

Get out your patchwork and patchouli: Phish is back in town after 5 long years!! (And by town I mean East Troy, Wisconsin, not Chi). So when I was a Phish follower in high school I made my own patchwork skirt. It was just large panels sewn together for a long skirt. Back then I had the help of my mom’s sewing machine and expertise.  Since I’ve been excited for this reunion for awhile now, I decided to make a new patchwork skirt.  Except this time it would consist of small square patches.

So I went to JoAnn Fabrics and picked out some awesome fabric, some thread, some needles, and an essential tomato shaped pin cushion.

Mind you, I do not own a sewing machine.  I do however own a lot of free time.  So I decided I would sew the entire skirt by hand (since I wanted to make a short skirt and not a long one).  I cut out 4×4 inch patches, vaguely arranged them into some sort of pattern, and got to work.  Below is my photo diary of the long process (if I added up all the hours of the days it took me I would estimate around 25 – 30 hours from cutting, pinning, sewing, yelling at Klinker, etc):

Cut up patches

Laying out strips

Progress

MANY hours later

Ready for dancin'!

Lots of thread

 I cannot begin to tell you how much thread I used.  My god.  But it is complete and I am quite happy with it.  It is not perfect by any means but I’m not a professional sewer…  I have a bunch leftover fabric as I grossly overestimated the amount I would need.  Maybe I will make little catnip pouches to thank Klinker for biting and tangling all the string I was trying to use.

Pet Peeve of the Day: Fake people

More awesome websites:

http://icanhascheezburger.com:  If you’ve read my blog before, you know I love cats and silliness.  They are combined here and…

here: http://www.stuffonmycat.com.

E-bates.  (http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=Gj5sziZo9JOdrfJceZJHPA%3D%3D):  If you shop online as much as I do, I recommend you use this site.  They have virtually every store you need to shop at, and you get cash back on your purchases.  Why wouldn’t you shop here???

http://fromtheroad.phish.com/: Get immediately updated setlists!

http://www.uncommongoods.com: I like unique, random shit.  I find it here.

http://chicago.craigslist.org:  This is where I lust after new kittens and jobs.  And where I wonder why no one will buy my t.v.!!!!

http://www.amazon.com: I made the mistake of looking up a TuPac album on here.  “My Recommendations” has made me live to regret that ever since.  Despite Amazon not realizing I’m not hardcore into “Gangster Rap,” I still respect them for trying.  The book recommendations– those are usually spot on and that’s all that counts!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Umbrellas on sunny days

Quote of the Day: “I think that this exact thing happened to me just last year” –Phish

I loathe these bags.  I have 2 of them, byproducts of giveaways at Bears and Cubs games.  The reasons I hate these are many:  It is a rare occasion when I actually remember to bring these with me to the grocery store.  Somehow I always manage to remember my coupons, but these bags?  They remain hanging sadly on the doorknob in my kitchen.

When I do remember to bring them along, they seem to fall victim to some unspoken grocery-baggers rule: “If someone brings a reusable bag, stuff it so full it can barely be lifted and feels like it may possibly break at any moment.”  Whyyyyyyy?  Why does a reusable grocery bag seem to cause all common sense to be blown to the wind?  I live on the third floor and I need to carry these bags a long way.  You better believe that when I get plastic bags, I tell them to double them.  And they don’t pack those to the gills.  WTF?

Just yesterday, I saw an interesting item on the news that is the final nail in the coffin for these bags:  they are breeding grounds for all sorts of crazy bacteria.  (http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/chi-talk-bad-bagsmay27,0,5879847.story)  Granted this story was put out by the Canadian Plastic Council, but it’s propoganda I can get on board with if it will excuse me from being “green.” 

There is one person who seems to enjoy my reusable bags, and that is Klinker.  For some reason she is infinitely fascinated by them and loves to play in/with them.  So I guess if their purpose morphs into cat toys, that’s still pretty “green”… and it’ll keep Al Gore outta my grill.

Things I Live For: Day drinking; bonfires; scarves

Quote of the Day: “Facts all come with points of view” –Talking Heads