05.03.2011

Chess


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Well, like a bad husband, I missed my two year blog anniversary back in March. I guess that’s what happens when you neglect your blog. Oh well… onward!

I need a chessboard. And someone to play chess with. Preferably Bobby Fischer if I can find him.

When I was younger I used to play chess with my brother and our friends. How intellectual we were! Then I had a boyfriend who I played chess with all the time. But he’s long gone, like the chessboard he made me. Perhaps the worst thing I have ever done in my life is throw away that board. It’s been years since I’ve played and I’m itching to find a game. I’m sure there’s some underground chess circles in Chicago–what’s the password? I want in!

There are stands downtown where you can play chess with the random guy who runs the strip of boards (see pic). But talk about putting yourself out there; I’ve got to work up to getting beat by a homeless looking dude.

I know you can play online but that’s not how our forefathers played so that’s not for me. It’s like playing shuffleboard online. Or, it would be like if you tried to run a farm online. Insanity!

I’m not even sure I remember how to play. But I am sure about the moves allowed for a few of the pieces. I recall the rook being my favorite for the freedom he had. I respected that freedom. The King? Not so much. I would think a King would be allowed to do what he wants. But the feminist in me says big ups to the Queen cuz ole girl rocks that board like a hooker on North Avenue!

I don’t want to play chess so I can lord my intelligence over you (that’s what this blog is for . . . obviously). I just want to get back into the scene! To be able to say things like “fuck you for castling” and “checkmate, bitch.” Cuz that’s how I play chess. That’s how I roll.

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “I prefer to have my cab drivers to be from one of the terrorist countries. Those guys don’t need sleep, they’re all hopped up on hate and poppyseeds.” –Daniel Tosh

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04.20.2010

In Honor of 4/20…


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I bring you marijuana themed trivia:

1) What famous Austrian-American said about marijuana “that is not a drug. It’s a leaf?”

2) When was marijuana criminalized in the United States?

3) What are the 5 forms cannabis comes in?

4) How many states have legalized medical marijuana? Bonus points: name the states.

5) How did “four twenty” come to be a part of the cannabis culture? (This was a surprise to me… don’t know if I trust Wikipedia on this one.  I feel like some stoners just made the entry up cuz they couldn’t think if anything else…)

Essay Question: Is marijuana a gateway drug? Yes or no?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Squares. And to be fair, stoners. Walk the line people, walk the line.

Quote of the Day: “Grass is a dangerous drug that can lead to such permanent ill effects as loss of memory.” –Ronald Reagan

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04.19.2010

An Ode to Grape G2


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I stayed out too late last night, this morning I’m an awful sight.

I can’t get out of bed, there’s suffering in my head.

I know what I need—to Walgreen’s I must proceed

for the delicious nectar that serves as my protector.

It cures my ailments from the previous nights derailments

and brings me back to life with the grace of a surgical knife.

It is purple, delicious, low calorie—affordable on any salary.

I will always long for Grape G2 when I’ve had one too many brew.

Fruit punch will make me lose my lunch

I hate lemon-lime and orange doesn’t rhyme.

Grape is the only solution — There will be no substitution.

Pet Peeve of the Day: Nutmeg

Quote of the Day: “You can’t sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock.  You’ve got to throw the ball over the damn plate and give the other man his chance.  That’s why baseball is the greatest game of them all.” –Earl Weaver

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…if you want my respect.  (In honor of opening day at Wrigley today, woo hoo!!)

1) A knowledge of baseball 

2) Clever heckling lines (read: not “you suck”)

3) A willingness to boo the home team

4) A thirst for beer (read: not mai tais)

5) A hate for any unofficial mascot (read: Ronnie “Woo Woo” Wickers)

6) A couple quarters to use the payphone (read: because you will not need to be on your mobile during the game, standing up and waving at people across the field)

7) A jersey in which you commit to a team member (read: not blank, and not your last name)

8 ) An interest in baseball

9) Sticky hands (read: if you catch a ball in the bleachers you will not throw it back)

10) A pen (to keep score with)

And bonus points if you bring the day’s sports section! 🙂

Pet Peeve of the Day:My incessant need for socks because otherwise my feet become ice

Quote of the Day: “I don’t wanna end up in a room alone–don’t wanna end up someone I don’t even know.” –Tom Petty

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My love of this delicious beer does not stop at the crisp, smooth taste.  The ads below, some vintage, some new, are all awesome and help further my love.

high life3

 

highlife4

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My dream is to be the High Life girl for Halloween but arranging a costume has been a pretty big roadblock.  I even have the plans hatched out to glue a slivered moon to my back.  So let me know if you have a big red dress, cuz I’ll buy it off you.

highlife5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If these people aren’t living the high life, I don’t know who is!

miller_pinky_restraint

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

miller_collar_clips

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Actually my dad can rock a popped collar like nobody’s business!  Cuz he’s old school and awesome like that!

high lifexmas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Truly a beer for all seasons!

highlife guy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How do you not love this guy?!!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Pabst Blue Ribbon.  GROSS.  And I’m not a hipster nor do I strive to be one. 

Quote of the Day: “I ain’t waitin for the world to change – gonna change the world for you.” –DMB

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