10.06.2010

Why I Hate Atheists


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Holier then the holiest of rollers, and certainly holier than thou, I give you atheists. They KNOW things whereas us believers just BELIEVE things. And they are adamant about this and will let you know. But how are they so sure that I’m some idiot because I believe in a higher power and engage in organized religion?

The answer may indeed be opposable thumbs. And I’m totally with them on that because goddamn if I don’t love my opposable thumbs. But why can’t I believe in evolution and God?

Mark Twain said “faith is believing what you know ain’t so.” I like this quote because I think it mirrors the complexities that comprise faith. Now, we could get stoned and talk about this quote for hours but we won’t at the moment. But I believe atheists lack faith–they have no faith in anything. And to me, that is sad. Yes, I have little faith in humanity, but I still have a LITTLE. I presume they have none because they need EVIDENCE for everything. Apparently a lengthy book is not good enough. That’s fine. Live your life like that. But I’m not gonna come to your little hipster pad and protest your choice to be an atheist so don’t

A man in my class the other day stated how he had to go to church at Christmas because it made his parents happy. But he relayed to the class what a maddening experience that was for him. Well what about how maddening it was for the fellow congregants to have to worship in the midst of someone who looks down on them and laughs at what they stand for? And to be honest buddy, if, at 38 years old, you’re going to church, doing something you hate to “make your parents happy” I’d say your issues run way deeper than organized religion and Yahweh.

Do atheists have an aversion to all art that depicts or discusses religion? Because wow are you guys not only really ignorant to the rights of others but also really culturally deprived.

So atheists–check yourselves. Or, you may want to take a page from our Book and learn a little bit about acceptance. Or maybe go off to some far end of the world with all your Democrat friends who also know that their way is the right way and fucking kick rocks.

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: “Grace is all I’m asking, when will grace return” –Dave Matthews

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So I was heading out of the city this past Saturday, a little later in the day, and as I drove down Lake Shore Drive I saw quite the sight on Lake Michigan. As I rounded the Oak Street curve, I saw about a hundred boats gathered in a small area on the lake about 20 feet from the shore. They looked as if they were going to be parked there for the remainder of the day.

Is this why people get a boat in Chicago? So they can take it a mile away from their slip to tread water in one spot all day? Why aren’t they cruisin’ the high seas, playing pirate and living the dream?

It seems a total waste of money, time, and resources. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure these boats have a great view of our city and fabulous skyline. But it’s like buying a Mercedes for the sole purpose of gathering with other Mercedes at a country club parking lot.

So I think my envy of the city sailor’s life is done with. I’m more than happy to be a landlubber with a couple extra bucks in my pocket and an ignorance to rust.

Pet Peeve of the Day: When people dot i’s with little circles

Quote of the Day: “Forgive you why, you hung me out to dry / Maybe I’m crazy but laughing out loud makes the pain pass by.” –Dave Matthews

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There are many versions of songs that I like the cover of better than the original.  Is this sacriligious?  Or does it have something to do with my absolute love of cover songs?  I mean, I could be at any show in the world, and if any band plays any song that is not originally theirs, I will likely go nuts. 

So here’s a list of covers I like better than the original (also note, you must have heard the original in order to like the cover better.  Obvious right?  Well, when I was out at college in Ithaca some loser at the paper wrote an article about how Rusted Root had covered Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower” at a concert on campus the night before.  Needless to say, I raged and wrote a strongly worded letter to the editor.  Which I think is still online if you google my name). 

ANYWAY:

Phish’s “Loving Cup” always beats The Stones version.

Further, Phish’s “Cities” is on my iPod, while the Talking Heads version is not.  Nor will it ever be.

I dig me some John Prine, but “Angel From Montgomery” will always belong to Dave Matthews in my mind.

Now, this might be really bad–I love Joaquin Phoenix’s “Cry, Cry, Cry” way better than J.R. Cash’s.

And some songs whose covers absolutely blow dogs:

“A” for effort Eric Clapton, but “I Shot the Sheriff” belongs not in the hands of a Brit, but in the hands of a black dreadlocked man named Bob Marley

The Counting Crows absolutely ruined Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi.”

The Byrd’s “My Back Pages” isn’t really that bad but it’s hard to outdo Bobby D on this one…

Are there any cover songs you like better than the originals?

Pet Peeve of the Day: See paragraph two above.

Quote of the Day: “It took a world of trouble, it took a world of tears, yeah it took a long time to get back here.” –Tom Petty

Bonus quote since we’re talking music: “She comes back to tell me she’s gone,
As if I didn’t know that, as if I didn’t know my own bed, as if I’d never noticed, the way she brushed her hair from her forehead, and she said losing love is like a window in your heart, Everybody sees you’re blown apart, Everybody sees the wind blow.” –Paul Simon

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Love:

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I was unable to find the Hyper Hypo kid video from SNL featuring Mike Meyers with an embed code so click the picture to be brought to the awesome video!

Pet Peeve of the Day: The battery life of my mobile

Quote of the Day: “Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children.” –Libby Gelman-Waxner

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(Don’t forget to enter my 1 year Blogoversary giveaway HERE)

 

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What ever happened to music videos? (Reuben Studdard has a cameo, lol!!)

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funny pictures of cats with captions

Pet Peeve of the Day: How nice weather brings out every shit’s piece driver in the world

Quote of the Day: “I think I thought I saw you try.  But that was just a dream.” –R.E.M.

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