This is sooooo funny I couldn’t wait until Random Shit Friday’s to  bring it to you guys. Watch the first video, and then the second. (And thanks to Em for brining this urgent matter to my attention!!)

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose.” –Tennessee Williams

Over the past few weeks I have seen my fair share of profiles. I have tried my best to refrain from judgment, but I’m beginning to wonder why they are all the same…

1) EVERY guy is a “laid back, normal guy”

2) EVERY guy “works hard but plays harder”

3) EVERY guy likes to be active whether it be jumping from an airplane, climbing a mountain, or swimming with sharks

4) EVERY guy has a “good sense of humor”

5) EVERY guy “wants a dog but doesn’t have time for one so it’s not fair to the dog to get one”

6) EVERY guy is “open” and “honest”

7) EVERY guy is “new to this online dating thing” and “sick of the bar scene”

8 ) Despite their laid back-ness, EVERY guy is “driven, determined, and focused”

9) EVERY guy is “just looking to meet new people” (am I high or is that a given?)

10) And finally… it is becoming highly unlikely that I will find my match. Where are all the witty, smart, tall, hilarious, Chicago sports loving, shaggy-haired-but-not-in-a-hipster-way, good looking guys???

If girls rock their profiles this way too, it’s no wonder that I stick out as the weirdo no one wants to talk to…

Things I Live For: Witty, smart, tall, hilarious, Chicago sports loving, shaggy-haired-but-not-in-a-hipster-way, good looking guys

Quote of the Day: “You don’t know a woman until you have a letter from her.” –Ada Leverson

I saw these awesome candlesticks over at Drab to Fab and knew I had to make some.  And I thought great big ones would perfectly fill out this empty corner I had next to my dining room table.  So I took a trip to Home Depot for some 4×4′s.  To say I stood out at Home Depot would be an understatement.  I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going.  But I found the 4×4′s and a crazy old guy to cut them for me.  (Honestly I was nervous for him to operate a power tool…)  He seemed really perplexed by what I was doing since I was asking for various lengths.  I explained it to him but I still don’t think he got it.  ANYWAY…

I bought the tops and bottoms at Michaels and glued them on with Gorilla glue.  Then I painted them with a white-ish paint I had, and stained them with the infamous Ralph Lauren Smoke glaze (FYI Home Depot informed me they will no longer be selling Ralph Lauren… recession I guess).

The total cost of these was suuuuuuper cheap.  I forget how much the 4×4 was but I don’t think it was more than $12.

I think they fit perfectly in the corner but I might have to spiff up the candles a bit!  (And why is one darker than the other??  Annoy)  How easy!  Thanks for the great idea Drab to Fab!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Your friend’s band

Quote of the Day: “A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.” –Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

Let’s see what a dollar can get you these days…

I bought this ugly table at my favorite antique store for a dollar.  That is correct, I dollar.  I figured for that price I would find something to do with it.  I needed a side table on the other side of my bed so I figured this would fit perfectly the long way.  And if it didn’t work out, well, it was only out a dollar.

A can of $.96 black spray paint later…And of course, I distressed the edges a bit with sandpaper because I need to have everything distressed and shabby chic-esque.

 The Dollar Tree is another fave spot of mine.  The items below actually weren’t that bad on their own, but I wanted better:

Fleur de Lis finials?  Yes please.

 A thin layer of turquiose acrylic paint applied with a foam brush gave these a perfect, rusty, patina-ish look.

And the birdies?  I made them look old and springy.

This guy got rubbed with Ralph Lauren Smoke glaze which I have to resist glazing everything in my house with.

And these guys got some spring spray paint.

I covered a dollar store frame with the same turquoise acrylic paint for a simiilar antiquey look.

Finally, I wanted some decorative balls (hahaha) but it was impossible to find cheap forms for them.  So I came across these at the Dollar Tree and decided they would work:

I hotglued strips of sheet music to them and burned all 18 of my fingers in the process.

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who live in Chicago and complain when it snows one day and is 60 degree the next.  MOVE.  Because that is WHY I live here.

Quote of the Day: “We got to roll with the punches, play all of our hunches, make the best of whatever comes your way. Forget that blind ambition, learn to trust your intuition — plowing straight ahead, come what may.” –Jimmy Buffett

I have spotted this awesome Book Wreath all over blog land and decided that I wanted to make one.  But then I was experimenting with these acordian-like flowers and decided to make a book wreath my way, using them.  Here is the step-by-step (and I am not a good photographer so my apologies):

First I started with pages from a book from Goodwill.  I got a tour book of Chicago to make it more personal and this actually worked out well because there were little maps inside that helped to mix up the patterns.  The size of the flower will depend on the size you cut your paper (book pages).  Then, do something you haven’t done since grade school when you used to make paper fans:

 Basically you fold the paper back and forth until you make as many as you need.  (You will need three acordians for each flower).  This is the most time consuming part of the project.

Next, fire up your glue gun.  Each acordian piece must be folded and where you fold it, you glue the insides to one another:

That part is kind of hard to explain but hopefully you get the idea.

Now you see how you have three pieces that should fit together.  You glue the sides of one to another and so forth until you have glued it together (3 spots).

So that’s how you make the basic flower.  Repeat as necessary.

I cut out a crude wreath form from some old cardboard to glue my flowers onto.

I glued buttons of various colors into the center of each of my flowers.

Then, you arrange your flowers onto the form as you want them, and hot glue them on.  This is a bit tricky because the flowers don’t lay flat.  I used a lot of hot glue!

And here is the finished product!  I added ribbon to hang it with and a bow (a good bow tie-er I am not)

And here it is bringing a little springtime to my dark door!

Quote of the Day: “Stay with me till time turns over – I want to feel my feet leave the ground.  Take me where the whispering breezes can lift me up and spin me around.  If I could I would… Hear you laughing as we go – Flipping backward through the doors and through the windows… I’m melting into nothing.” –Phish