Awesome Gift Ideas

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It may be too late but I’m throwing these out there just in case you need to do some last minute shopping. And, if you can’t make the X-Mas deadline . . . my birthday is in January! 🙂

For your writer friend/Facebook obsessed friend: This stamp combines two awesome things: Facebook and real live paper!

For your friend who is obsessed with bacon but already has the bacon dental floss, bacon candle, bacon gum, bacon mints, clogged arteries, etc etc, a plush bacon guy.

For your friend with a sense of humor, cold feet, or a penchant to misspeak, Freudian Slippers:

For your Francophile friend (me) who likes breakfast (not me so keep looking), a French Toast stamp:

For your Francophoile friend (me) who has fond memories of drinking vin chaud in Paris a month ago (me me me!), the German version of mulled wine:

For your bad-ass friend who’s not so bad-ass that he doesn’t rely on his daily coffee, a fisticuffs mug:

For the cyclist in your life who, I guarantee you, needs to study up on the rules of the road:

Happy shopping and happy holidays!

Things I Live For: Gift guides

Quote of the Day: “People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” –Rogers Hornsby

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I saw some loser wearing his visor backwards the other day thinking he was cool. Then I was like wait! I know someone who does that. And when he does it, it is awesome. I wondered why that was so, and concluded it’s because 1) he’s my dad and he’s the shit, 2) street-cred, and 3) the ’70’s (because I feel as if that is where a lot of this stuff came from and he’s just single handedly carrying on the traditions of his 20’s and 30’s).

So I give you a list of things my dad does that are awesome, but if YOU did them, you’d be a d-bag.

  • Wears his visors backwards
  • Pops the collar on his Polo shirts
  • Wears pinkish colored Polo shirts with said popped collar
  • Rocks Converse Chuck Taylor’s (well if you do this you’re not a d-bag, just a stupid hipster. He is clearly neither)
  • Really enjoys the works of Tom Cruise
  • Requests (demands?) “Paint it Black” at every concert he attends (his own personal “Freebird” if you will…)
  • Lives in Wrigleyville. Actually, he was the pioneer of that neighborhood.

Clearly my dad has reached a level of awesomeness that we can only aspire to…

Things I Live For: My dad

Quote of the Day: “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” –Unknown

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Finally, after four looooooooong years, the FIFA World Cup is back! And even though my hero, Zinedine Zidane, is no longer in the sport, I will be rooting for France because he is the one who confirmed my love for football:

The Euro Cup every 2 years is a nice hold-over, but I’m glad the real thing is finally back. And goddamn, if I were the Cubs right now I would be sending boxes and boxes of chocolate to the Blackhawks and FIFA…

Let’s go Les Bleus!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Being strung along

Quote of the Day: “You cannot  be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” –Wayne Dyer

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Driving into work the other day, I spotted a Jeep with the ubiquitous sticker declaring “It’s a Jeep Thing…You Wouldn’t Understand.” I haven’t seen one of these in awhile so it brought me back to questions I have previously pondered.

First and foremost, what is it that I do not understand? Is it that you are a douchebag? Because I get that. Loud and clear.

Perusing the information super-highway, I discovered a site to purchase said sticker. I figured this site would at least give me some information on what it is I need to understand. Except the description reads: “Yup, It’s a Jeep Thing, and most people don’t understand. But YOU do, so celebrate that knowledge.” Okay, not so helpful.

Maybe it’s just a really tricky PR stunt–buy a Jeep and you will suddenly be filled with knowledge on how to totally suck at life. (I hope that PR genius was fired. Actually, they probably have a new job–their the brain trusts behind the new Cubs slogan “It’s a “W”ay of Life.” Again, if sucking at life is a way of life then I’m all in…)

And why must these stickers cover the expanse of the dashboard? They’re never simple little bumper stickers–they are windshield stickers. As if your douchiness doesn’t blind you enough, you need to add a large decal to the mix?

Clearly, for some reason unbeknowest to me, Jeep drivers think they are the shit. To you and me, that means compensating for all the other areas in life which they fail.

If I ever obtain my dream of owning a wood-paneled station wagon, you bet your ass I’ll find myself a sticker declaring “It’s a wood-paneled station wagon from the 80’s thing…You Wouldn’t Understand.”

Things I Live For: Shish-kebobs

Quote of the Day: “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” –Mark Twain

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Good Weekend

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Two awesome things happened this past weekend. First, I got my first essay ever published. In the Chicago Sun-Times. Fuckin sweet.

And second, my new hero Spencer Pratt had two hilarious clips featured on The Soup:

Simply amazing. I think I may have to start watching The Hills. Is there anyway to just watch the Spencer parts?

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who do not love the endless entertainment that Speidi provide

Quote of the Day: “Facts are meaningless – you could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!” –Homer Simpson

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