I have quite the dilemma. At the off-ramp of the highway I get off at everyday, I see my fair share of homeless beggars. Recently, I have been really in a pickle as I try to discern which of 2 guys is really homeless.

This is why it’s tricky: one wears a 2010 Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champions shirt, the other wears a Chicago Bulls 3-Peat shirt.

At first, I called bullshit on the Stanley Cup guy–that win is pretty recent so he obviously had the 20 bones a month ago to purchase that shirt. But what if they were passing those shirts out like candy and I just happened to miss it? Maybe they had a lot of extras after they realized no one in Chicago *really* likes hockey.

So then you’re telling me the guy in the 15+year old shirt isn’t the real homeless guy? That shirt has a lot of miles on it, a lot of beggin’ miles–it’s a part of the classic homeless look. OR IS IT?

Because if I had a Bulls 3-Peat shirt that I could find, you bet your ass I wouldn’t be parading it around everyday. That shit would be worn only on special occasions. That shirt is an ANTIQUE. Worth millions. A RARE antique that this guy obviously had enough money to buy because clearly he was over in ‘Nam when the first 3-peat happened.

Basically, what we have here at the Kennedy off-ramp at Irving Park is an antique enthusiast and the only hockey fan in the city of Chicago.

So I ask: Will the real homeless person please stand up?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Fall not being here soon enough

Quote of the Day: “You can look back but it’s best not to stare.” –Tom Petty

1) Our team name is Domination Station

2) We had t-shirts made (see picture. I am a hell of an artist when it comes to arranging clip-art…)

3) We’ve bowled with the best of them and held our own, read: Dragan and the 2nd place team (who we SWEPT, what what!)

4) $2 beers

5) Gary, the guy who runs the show on Monday’s and told me I couldn’t pick up a 7-10 split… LIES LIES LIES!

6) My teammates, obvi

7) The addition of gambling via a card game (kinda like the passing the cup game you play out at Wrigley)

8 ) A plethora of bright pink, 8lb. bowling balls to choose from

9) Complete and utter domination

10) Awesome tunes that encourage said domination

And one reason it is not awesome…

1) We start at 11PM… for this old lady, that is LATE.

Things I Live For: See above; a work commute that is less than an hour

Quote of the Day: “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” –John Jakes

I need some answers. Why do people work in the suburbs and live in the city and vice versa? I have done a city to suburb commute for just TWO days and I already want to slit my wrists. You would have to pay me 500 million dollars to commute in this kind of traffic to work everyday. And it better be the best job known to man, like kitten babysitter or full time sleeper. 

I would only work in the suburbs and live in the city if I was DAMN sure there was some sort of commuter train I could take. Because after two days, the drive is already wearing thin.

You may be thinking, well hey, at least you can listen to music or do other fun things like smoke in your car  mid-commute. There are two problems. I no longer smoke (although by the end of this job assignment complete with commute God knows I may have started again…) and NO ONE PLAYS MUSIC. I’m sick of all my CD’s, so I try to listen to the radio. Well, there’s only so much sports radio I can listen to. I can only listen to how awesome the Blackhawks are, how much the Cubs and Sox suck, and how Lebron James is the greatest thing since sliced bread so many times. Find something new to talk about. Like why people choose to commute.

And FM radio? Yeah, I’m thinking, well of course they’re gonna pump out the hits because rush hour is their bread and butter. But no. I have to listen to FM DJ’s talk. I thought they were paid to play music. The last thing I want to hear about is the many places you enjoy having sex. You are a radio DJ, therefore ugly, and I do not need to picture you having sex. Please do your job and play me some goddamn Miley Cyrus.

So what am I going to do to pass the time? My GPS lady only has so much to say. And I think it’s kind of sad that the highlight of my drive is when she tells me to “take the motorway.” (I mean really, “motorway?” That’s fuckin legendary). So if you have a hidden Chicago radio station that plays music or discusses interesting topics such as The Real Housewives of New Jersey, please let me know.

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: “It ain’t no sin to be glad you’re alive.” –Bruce Springsteen

Two awesome things happened this past weekend. First, I got my first essay ever published. In the Chicago Sun-Times. Fuckin sweet.

And second, my new hero Spencer Pratt had two hilarious clips featured on The Soup:

Simply amazing. I think I may have to start watching The Hills. Is there anyway to just watch the Spencer parts?

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who do not love the endless entertainment that Speidi provide

Quote of the Day: ”Facts are meaningless – you could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true!” –Homer Simpson

Shit.  Okay, here we go…

I am kind of ashamed.  But I must admit, I have joined Twitter.  Well, not I per-say, but my blog has (@how2Bawesome) so follow it up!  That was how I was able to make my peace with this whole thing–I will not be telling you what I had for lunch or what location I “checked in at,” but you will know when new blog posts are up.  And obviously awesome things of note (but only worthy of  a maximum of 140 characters) will be featured.  And it’s an additional way to connect to my readers and/or gain more! 

I have been thinking about it for a few weeks because at my internship where I blog, we use Twitter to get more readers.  It’s another way to transmit our information and connect with others, so I have witnessed firsthand the benefits of Twitter if used carefully…

Okay, I think thats enough justification for one day.  See you on Twitter…

Pet Peeve of the Day: Italian Beef with no au jus.  Honestly, who serves it that way?  And in CHICAGO?  Damn you un-named restaurant, damn you.

Quote of the Day: “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” –e.e. cummings