10.07.2010

Vanity Plates…


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Oh yes, I take requests. A friend of mine suggested vanity plates for a blog topic and there is nothing I like more than responding to requests.

What is it about the vanity plate? According to my Jersey-born, Philly identifying cousin, vanity plates do not exist on the east coast, or at least to the extent which we see them here in the midwest, specifically Illinois and Wisconsin. They enrage him as they do my friend who says that “people should be embarrased.” Except, I had to point out to her: anyone who has a vanity plate thinks WAY too highly of themselves to  be embarrased!

So I thought, why ARE vanity plates so popular here? A quick Google search of vanity plates immediately suggested that I must have meant “vanity plates Illinois.” Which brings me to the website of the Secretary of State who is ENCOURAGING THIS. There is an interactive tool where you can type out what you want on your plate and immediately see if it is available. (If you are bored at work this is actually quite entertaining…) Unfortunately “Awesome” is taken, shocker I know. So it looks like Illinois has their Secretary of State to blame, Mr. Jesse White. But I wasn’t fond of him to begin with as he allowed my grandmother to drive wayyyyyy past her prime.

People with vanity plates think they are beyond clever. Usually they point to the person’s profession, for example a doctor would have “I Heal,” and an accountant “Add it Up” or something dumb like that. BFD. No one cares. The only thing I care about you at that moment on the road is that you not drive like a fucking idiot. But that is ALWAYS too much to ask from a vanity plate possessor.

I must admit that growing up, my parents had a vanity plate. It was “Rock C;” they were obsessed with Roxy Music. I don’t know if it’s because I love Roxy Music too, or that I love my parents, but I must admit that plate was awesome.

The worst plates however are those that declare “I’m Sexy” or “2 Hott.” Really? You think I’m NOT gonna cut you off with an attitude like that? I mean really people—vanity plates just encourage and add to road rage. I have no idea why the secretary of state would promote these (aside from the obvious, being money).

If people spent as much time on themselves as they do thinking of a vanity plate, then humanity as a whole may just improve. Until then, we’ll be driving amongst some of the most self-involved people in the world–not exactly the type you want behind a wheel.

What’s the worst vanity plate you have ever seen?

Dedicated to: Lena

Quote of the Day: “I wasn’t born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.” –Eric Cartman

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05.24.2010

Lady Gaga


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Lady Gaga is fucking legendary.  I absolutely love her, and it is a love that borders on obsession.  It’s not so much an obsession with her theatrics and costumes as much as it is her fucking  music.  It’s the greatest.  And I know I’m not alone in believing her to be truly awesome– since imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, check out these videos:

This one is hilarious, by some talented dudes (keep watching til at least 2:45, but really you won’t regret watching it all):

This isn’t better than Cartman’s, but it’s close!

And, because it never gets old:

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t appreciate the value of pop music

Quote of the Day: “When you make music or write or create, it’s really your job to have mind-blowing, irresponsible, condomless sex with whatever idea it is you’re writing about at the time.” –Lady Gaga

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I enjoy a good bumper sticker more than your average person.  I think they tell a lot about a person and help me determine who I have to cut off on the road or not. For example, the witty bumper sticker is always the way to go. The Anti-Bush or Honor Roll bumper stickers scream lame and you will be cut off or beeped at. (Remind me to one day blog about how I am bringing horn honking back–seriously when and why did people stop doing this???)

Anyway, an old bf had a bumper sticker that said “The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.”  If that dog had been changed to cat I would definitely be rockin that bumper sticker.  Below, a few of my favorite (and a peek into my Republican-loving lifestyle!):

I had the pleasure of seeing this one in person once and I was dying laughing. Spot on!

I have seen this one before too.  (And to anyone taking notes on what to get me for Christmas…)

Hehehe… too soon? (There’s a similar one that says “if I’m paying your healthcare” too!)

Those crazy Canadians…

Indeed.

Anything that involves beating up hippies is good by me!

This one made me smile!  Cuteness.

I assume this one is only sold to Hummer owners.

Indeed.  Times a million.

Any funny ones you guys have seen out there that I’m missing??  (And by funny I don’t mean the “Re-Elect Gore ’08” ones…)

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “Show me something built to last, or something built to try.” –Grateful Dead

 

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With all the hoopla surrounding Jared and $5 footlongs, it seems that Subway has been purposely distracting us so as to not notice the horrid crime that they have committed.  I am talking about that awesome little piece of bread that used to serve as the top of the sandwich.  The top was cut on both sides to produce a sort of delicious, bread strip.  Their bread is no longer cut like this.  Instead, the bread is cut in your run of the mill split down the side way.  (I tried to find a pic but this one was the best I could do).

I noticed this over the weekend when I watched Happy Gilmore.  As I watched Happy sling Subway sandwiches, I saw the long forgotten piece of bread!  And I wondered, WHY was this phased out?  And WHY hadn’t I noticed until now? 

Well, I probably have not noticed because ever since Quizno’s came on the scene, I’ve pretty much stayed away from Subway.  But why would you phase out such a revolutionary bread slicing method?  That piece of bread topping was admittedly an afterthought because your sandwich was already tucked neatly into the bread without any side spillage.  It wasn’t really holding anything together except the dreams of this ham-and swiss eating little girl. 

If I have to blame anyone, I will blame Jared.  He changed the face of Subway, so I can only assume this was one of the things on his to-do list.  Take out anything unique that may make you a competitor in the sub market.  It’s not like any new sub shop is going to open and offer delicious hot, toasty subs, so why continue on trying to have a hook? 

Jared may have succeeded with his weight loss, but he certainly failed Marketing 101.  And if not him, someone else.  And I want names.

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: “Whoa, you’re telling us this book is filthy, inappropriate and made a guy shoot the king of hippies?!  Can we please read this, right now?!” –Eric Cartman

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Happy Birthday to ME!  That’s right, today is the day the world was blessed with awesomeness some 20+ years ago.  To celebrate, a few things that always make me smile:

 

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 “I know it cuz I walked in there with a wad of cash and I made it rain!” –Daniel Tosh

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Looooove me some Eminem:

 
Quote of the Day: “And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” –Abraham Lincoln

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