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I loathe white socks.  Why would you choose to wear a boring sock when so many awesome options exist?  I have a beyond extensive collection of fun socks; so much halloween-socks~7218258that I never have to wear white socks unless I’m at the gym (which isn’t that often these days anyway WHAT UP!)  My favorite kind of sock is the Halloween sock (obviously since it is my fave holiday) but Santa adorned socks are a very close second.  Cats, BBQ ribs, skull & crossbones, dice, Grateful Dead bears, ghosts, hearts, leprechauns, and various patterns all adorn a pair of my socks. 

The most unfortunate part of this collection is that socks wear out over time; especially the favorite ones I wear every chance I get.  So I am constantly looking to add to my collection, and this time of year is when I’m especially aggressive in my search as Halloween socks are plentiful. 

You may be wondering, does she coordinate her socks according to holidays (i.e. only wear my Christmas socks at Chchristmas-socks-300x300ristmas) and the answer is hell no.  Why would I only want to bring out my various smiley Santa socks but once a year??  It would be like only using my Christmas glasses as Christmas– crazy!  I do however retire a few pairs from the rotation every once in awhile just to give every pair a chance at equal foot time.  I’d say I have around 100 or so pairs of socks so that can get pretty difficult.  The other thing is the laundry factor… when I wash all my socks I will be “folding” them for a good 15 minutes.  But when I look down during the day and see a splash of color or a frosty snowman peeking out from my pants, it’s all worth it. 

Pet Peeve of the Day: When people ask me how my blog will help them be awesome.  NOT awesome.

Quote of the Day: “I want to be strong, I want to laugh along, I want to belong to the living – Alive, alive, I wanna get up and jive, wanna wreck my stockings in some jukebox dive.” –Joni Mitchell

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(Every Wednesday starting today will be a post about a prized possession of mine until I run out of things that are prized.  Cuz I’m materialistic like that.)

I love hats.  My hair often looks like a shit’s piece and I’m not really and wash and go kind of gal so hats are sometimes necessary for me to get out the door, especially in winter.  Plus, hat parties are my favorite kind of parties.  (You wear awesome hats and take hilarious pictures… hammered drunk).  summer 065Especially when hosted by my boy Teej… he’ll even bust out the vintage hats!

My absolute favorite hat is my furry Bears hat.  I got this about 4 or 5 years ago and I wear it every Bears Sunday (except September games cuz it’s usually too hot).  I wear it whether I’m going to the game, watching it at a bar, or watching at home.  People always ask me where I got it and I’m shocked that it hasn’t become more popular (i.e. for sale in every Bears store).  I got it on summer 067eBay so that’s where I always tell people to go.  Plus, I got a little slice of styrofoam cheese with my hat!  It was in the Bears mouth when it arrived; so awesome.  (Packers aka “Cheeseheads” are our rivals for the NFL illiterate).

My second favorite hat is one I rarely wear anymore because it’s soooo old and pretty dirty.  It is a camoflague trucker hat with a skull and crossbones.  Pretty much a hat that was made for me.  It’s 7 years old and I’m sure I could replace it but it just wouldn’t be the same.  And my mom yells at me for wearing it… guess it’s not so lady-like or age appropriate these days.  She must think I care what people think…

And rounding out the rest of the collection is a bright orange camo hat I got many moons ago on my 21st birthday from Matty.  He even added some awesome pins to it that say: “If you don’t like my attitude quit talking to me” and “Criticism: Just one more service I offer.”  Legendary.  I also have a summer 068camo hunting hat lined with rabbit fur (hi PETA!) that helps me survive Chicago winters. 

The latest addition to my collection is my Captain’s hat.  I have had my eye on this hat for a few months now but I have been hesitant to pull the trigger due to prices I was seeing online.  But I found this one on a trip to a party store with my mom for only six bucks!  Since most of my hats are winter hats, I’m jacked as hell to bust this one out this summer!

Oh, and the chicken hat is Klinker’s.  She has a small hat collection.

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t let others get off the bus/train before getting on

Quote of the Day: “I suppose… the need to focus never arose.” –Jimmy Buffett

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Fear that access to their precious guns could become limited has apparently provoked a huge spike in gun sales since Obama took office.  http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/1534373,CST-NWS-gunsales20.article.  Just what we need– a lot of fearful, paranoid people with guns readily available… 

I live for people who say “Guns don’t Kill people, People kill People.”  guncontrol1Actually, it would be a lot harder to kill someone if so many didn’t have access to a gun.  Just go find the statistics on homicides resulting from a gunshot versus a beating, stabbing, or strangulation.  I have a degree in criminal justice, I can tell you that the numbers aren’t pretty.  So yes, crazy people with guns kill people.  Now that I’d get that on a bumper sticker. 

I realize that many law abiding people own guns that they do not commit crimes with; they simply enjoy their right to bear arms.  But come on people, do you really think this is what our founding fathers had in mind?  The Bill of Rights was drafted in a far different time than 2009– are any of your elected officials wearing powdered wigs??  No, so why should you still have the right to bear arms?  The Bill of Rights basically defines the judicial process– what does this have to do with guns and gun control now?  Different time, different values, different problems. 

Guns scare me, but more than that, people adamantly in support of them guncatscare me.  What does someone need a gun for?  A rifle for hunting, ok fine that may make sense.  A handgun?  Um, no.  “Well I have the right to protect my home and property!” they say.  Yeah… it’s called ADT broseph. 

Reading the above referenced Sun-Times article on the 10th anniversary of Columbine made it all the more compelling.  If those kids hadn’t had access to guns, students and teachers would still be alive.  Their pipe bombs failed, so they resorted to storming the school and shooting it up as a Plan B.  This is obviously an extreme example, but unfortunately, also a very relevant one given the shootings that are still taking place today in schools, stores, and churches.  And, if you’re living in Chicago:  how many CPS students have been shot dead this year??

I have never heard “having a gun saved my life” or “thank god I was packing heat.”  Until I hear a good, logical reason for owning a gun, I will continue to be extremely anti-gun.  To be clear though, I am also extremely anti-Michael Moore so don’t assume I have been brainwashed by that slob!

Things I Live For: Porch-sitting, Cubs curtain calls, being a cookie monster

Quote of the Day:  Jeremy Grey: I feel totally ridiculous. Like why do I have to be in camouflage? So the big bad quail doesn’t see me?
John Beckwith: I know. Why can’t we hunt something cool like a hawk or an eagle, something with some talons?
Jeremy Grey:That’d be awesome. We could get something like big game. Even like a gorilla or a rhinoceros or a fucking human being! That’ll get you jacked up.
John Beckwith: That’s a little heavy.
Jeremy Grey: I mean like, hunt a human being right now, “Most Dangerous Game”. Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that’s armed, but a clever, a clever, human being who knows the jungle. Or the woods. —Wedding Crashers

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04.20.2009

Pirates!


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For at least the past 7 years, I have enjoyed pirates and piracy in general.  When I say this, I mean it in its most primitive form—i.e. rum drinking, peg-legs, swashbucklers, plank-walking, pillaging and plundering.  I think my interest came from a combination of an awesome trucker hat I owned that skullwas camouflage with a skull & crossbones on it and a newfound obsession with Jimmy Buffett. 

 

Recently, I was having a discussion about the Somali Pirates that have been so active lately, and it was brought to my attention that these are not true pirates.  Meaning, the actual definition of a pirate is: “One who robs at sea or plunders the land from the sea without commission from a sovereign nation.”  So, because these pirates have an allegiance to Somalia, they are not real pirates, like myself. 

 

A few years ago I was at a small town movie theater with my mom in Michigan.  The theater was located by a harbor leading out to Lakmape Michigan.  As we were entering, there was a sign with a Jolly Roger flag saying: Pirates and Piracy not allowed!  I was convinced that I couldn’t go see the movie because I was (am) a pirate, and was outraged at the nerve of their discrimination.  My mom assured me they meant people who record/bootleg the movies…  Oh!  Phew!  I figured since we were by the water where one could easily dock a pirate ship, they had to mean REAL pirates!   

 

shipIn the last couple years, pirates have become very popular, thanks to me most likely, and movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean.  I was listening to WGN radio a few weeks back and heard about an interesting class being offered at the University of Chicago on Pirates.  It is an anthropology class that studies “traditional Caribbean pirates as well as contemporary software piracy and ‘pirates’ such as Bernard Madoff, who recently pleaded guilty to defrauding thousands of investors.”  http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/content/education/chi-talk-piratesmar18,0,3053082.story It’s times like this when I wish was back in college; what an awesome-sounding class!

 

So if you are interested in pirates and piracy you have a couple options:

1) Roll with me as I teach you a life of lawlessness, rum drinking, and parrot training;

2) Check out the Pirate exhibit at the Field Museum (through Oct. 25, http://www.fieldmuseum.org/pirates/index.html);

3)  Watch all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies (I think there are 3?);

4) Enroll in the University of Chicago’s Freshman incoming class of Fall 2009 (good luck with that);

5) Don a skull and cross bones anything so long as you didn’t purchase it from Hot Topic, Claire’s, Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, etc etc etc…

 

  

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who drink 40’s of Miller Lite.  Especially at bars, in brown paper bags.  You’re not hard, you’re just from Schaumburg. 

 

Quote of the Day: “Mother, Mother Ocean — after all these years I’ve found — my occupational hazard being, my occupation’s just not around” –Jimmy Buffett

 

P.S. Happy 4/20!

 

 

 

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