A few weeks ago when I was suffering from a broken heart, I threw myself into crafts instead of drinking; fancy that! I’m so grown up! So here is a pair of candleholders that I made:

First, I started with candlestick holders and cup-ish things I got at Dollar Tree.

I glued these together using E600 glue. (I hate this glue because it is smelly but it is nice for this because it doesn’t dry right away so you can move the cup around on the base if it’s not centered on your first placement).

I took some tissue paper that I had lying around and decoupaged it to the outside of the cup. Despite its modern flair because of the zebra print, I think it still works with my other non-modern decor because of the neutral colors.

Then I glued a piece of teal ribbon around the top and glued three maroonish buttons to the ribbon. The pictures don’t really do the color justice, I swear they don’t look as jettie-ish as they appear in the photo.

I placed tealights in both holders. The total cost for these candleholders was around $6–you can’t beat that and I don’t think they look cheap.

I was originally going to do this with scrapbook paper but was glad I had tissue paper on hand because the light really shines through on the tissue paper.

Pet Peeve of the Day: The intense jealously I feel for the East Coast right now! I want that much snow in Chicago!!

Quote of the Day: ”She never stumbles, she’s got no place to fall.” –Bob Dylan

PLEASE LISTEN CAREFULLY!!!!

There appears to be some conspiracy in the automated menu world. Every time I call any sort of business with an automated menu, I am told to “listen carefully, as the menu options have changed.” After hard reflection, I am calling bullshit.

We all know at this point that, as Americans, Americans who speak English, we will inevitably have to press “1″ for English. That’s been a pretty stable fact of life since the turn of the century.

So what could have changed? Because I didn’t know Comcast customer service was so cutting edge that they need to continually update their menu choices. Is it really necessary to go through 15 minutes of automated menus when inevitably the person you finally reach will end up transferring you anyway? And I’m sorry lady in India, did I really ruin your day because I am having trouble with my cable and you only field questions about cable boxes?

Did your menu change because now you have a robot talking who doesn’t understand the English language? Because let me tell you: it’s not progressive and technologically savvy to implement a tool that is slower and more frustrating than MS-DOS.

And doctor’s offices? There’s only been a few options available since the advent of the telephone: if it’s an emergency hang up and call 911 (and by the way you are an idiot); press 1 for prescriptions; press 2 for appointments; press 3 for test results. Is there a magical something else that doctors do that I don’t know about? Because listening carefully certainly doesn’t reveal it.

I am fed up with automated menus and the time spent navigating them. Don’t con me into thinking the options have changed in order to assure I go through a lengthy choose-your-own-adventure. Because I have discovered the ultimate kiss off to these weapons of mass frustration, (and it is not pressing zero because you will just be told “invalid entry”).  Firmly and clearly say “representative” the moment the menu starts, and pray a robot doesn’t answer.

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above.

Quote of the Day: “Why don’t you break my heart one more time just for good luck.” –Bob Dylan

I am currently obsessed with this song and this album (Some Devil).  I found this version from Bonnaroo 2004 from a Dave & Friends show which I think I was at but I was probably counting down the hours until I got to go home.  Trey is being silly (typically) in the background:

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Pet Peeve of the Day: Martyrs

Quote of the Day: “Don’t say I never warned you when your train gets lost.” –Bob Dylan

Trivia is just another form of random shit, so you know I love it.  Useless knowledge can help you impress people, or win shots at a bar.  It’s win-win all around.  So try your hand at these questions…. NO GOOGLING!!!  I’ll post the answers in the comments section later today…

1) What is the only common word in the English language that ends with “MT”?

2) Which of the 50 states takes in the least amount of tourist dollars?

3) What phrase is said to be the most oft-printed warning in the history of printed word?

4) What was the only product ever promoted by Elvis in a television commercial?

5) What is a group of owls called?

Things I Live For: Any mail that isn’t bills, catalogues, or junk mail; 9/11 conspiracy theories

Quote of the Day: “I started out on burgundy but soon hit the harder stuff – Everybody said they’d stand behind me when the game got rough – but the joke was on me there was nobody there to call my bluff.” –Bob Dylan

I don’t know if it’s just small towns that this happens, but I have never seen them in Chicago.  I am talking about church signs… CRAZY church signs that say CRAZY things.  When I lived in Michigan for awhile, I came across many of these, most noteably: “TRADE IN YOUR CRACK ROCK FOR THE SOLID ROCK” and “YOU CAN’T STUMBLE WHEN YOU’RE ON YOUR KNEES.”  They always make me laugh because they are usually so absurd, so corny, or so intense.

I was curious if these existed across the nation and a simple search on the information superhighway showed me that they do:

Whoa:

 There are some clever ones:

(I guess God doesn’t care about spelling)

 Yikes:

Of course I was psyched when I spotted this one:

Do you have crazy church signs in your town?  If you do, I’m jealous because you must be constantly amused!

Things I Live For: Watching eating competitions; the fact that it is August and I have just turned on my AC for the first time this summer

Quote of the Day: “I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes — you’d know what a drag it is to see you.” –Bob Dylan