“What is that – it looks like the entrance to Auschwitz!” –Dana 11/5/06

“Where do you import your lemons from?  A farmer in Batavia?!” –Rog 2/18/07

“Esley, watch my cap, I know you appreciate a good hat!” –Sandra 2/22/07

“I can see Din still using MS-Dos” –Biggie 3/18/07

“Yeah, and I’m gonna get some shots for the library!” –Teej 3/18/07

“I was just gonna say, did you turn 40 over this past winter?” –Guy who sits next to me at Cubs games 4/14/07

“‘Oh, so you wanna get drunk and have sex?’  I was like what diamond in the rough did you find?!” –Biggie 4/15/07

“2005 man, that’s like so ’90’s” –Dad (on White Sox world series) 5/19/07

“I hate to tell Nisei but — Blarney Stone’s got your regulars!”  –Chris 6/14/07

“I don’t think Camel makes Black & Milds man” –Camel cigarette guy to Chris 6/14/07

“You know what makes me mad?  The 2 years we wasted not at Blarney Stone!” –Chris 6/14/07

“Occasional outbreaks, or baby?  Yeah…” –L-Ray 7/7/07

“There’s no better way to get kicked out than to say ‘I went to the game today’” –Blarney bartender to Bama 7/18/07

“You better watch your P’s & Q’s, you got a kid now bitch!” –Guy in bleachers at Wrigley 7/19/07

“She’s got a Republican attitude and the Democratic dress!” –Guy in bleachers at Wrigley (about me) 7/19/07

“Shit it’s a beautiful day, I wish I was at the Bears game but my punk ass is drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade!” –Teej 9/16/07

“I’ve had some of my breakthrough performances over there!” –Ronnie (about Nisei) 10/19/07

“Is 8 beers a lot?” –Me “It’s enough to not say ‘only’” –Biggie 11/7/07

“I can’t believe you got high with a guy in a flannel shirt — You must have been shocked.” –Bama 1/5/08

“Bama, I have good news” –Biggie “You switched to Geico mate?!” –Teej 1/5/08

“Go home and get your suit pants you prick!” –Ronnie 1/18/08

“What black man was up and running in the ’40’s?” –Nibbles 1/26/08

“If a tree falls in the woods… do I have to mark it down?” –Elliot 5/9/08

“You’re gonna have to speak up — my ears are on quaaludes!” –Biggie 5/22/08

“And then Thursday I got really high… not good for the low carb diet.” –Lobey 5/25/08

“‘Catch it all on WGN’… yeah, when they’re not showing Smallville!” –dad 6/11/08

“What happens first: 2016 Olympics or Ice Bar gets their liquor license back?” –Bensi 6/22/08

“He’s got 8 cases down there on ice hoping I believe they’re really closing”–Rog 8/29/08

“I told the kid I don’t want a postcard but I’ll give you a Euro to pickup the trash!” –Mary Ellen 8/30/08

“Do you have an infinity on your ankle because your legs won’t quit?” –Nick (to me) 9/6/08

“This guy’s at home watching ‘Fraiser’ re-runs!” –My life coach (about Bama/”Niles”) 10/2/08

“Free association–dog, apartment, go!”  –Bama 10/3/08

“I was cool with at as long as it didn’t turn into 50% wool!”  –Bama 11/8/08

“It tastes like Christmas!” –Nibbles 11/15/08

“I mean, I don’t wanna take him anywhere with loud bangs.” –Shanky 12/16/08

“He ain’t an Asian 7′5″”–Bama’s Life Coach 1/1/09

“I’m every lesbian’s dream, I’m hot and kind of masculine!” –Es 1/14/09

“Rob, you’d be good as a smoked salmon” Ray aka Ole Daddy 1/17/09

“Because they think the only way to get anywhere is to take Ashland” –Shanky 1/19/09

“He said ‘you talk to your girlfriend like that’ and I said I’m not talking to my girlfriend, I’m talking to an unregistered voter” –Mike 2/3/09

“Why, cuz she realized he looked like a pudgy 13 year old girl?”  –Chris 2/10/09

“If I start snuggling with you, pull me closer” –Nibbles 3/7/09

“They were that close to being blogged on!” –Chris 3/17/09

“They say, ‘well it’s dry heat’ and I’m like yeah, so is your oven”  –Lance 3/24/09

“So why should people read your blog– cuz you look like Jeannie?”  –Dave 3/29/09

“That guy’s really got an interesting little piece of hair on his face” –Mom 4/12/09

“I can’t get over it that David Stahl loves jingles!” –God-sistah 4/15/09

“I walked in and was like, am I being punked?  Blackhawk down!”  –Jake 5/5/09

“Damn Anne Frank, you only got a couple pages left!” –Jake 5/5/09

“Ok well, we’ll get you some Boone’s Farm at the United Center!” –Rick T. 5/13/09