01.10.2011

School Stressor


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So, school starts back up today and I couldn’t be more stressed out. It’s not because I’m starting work on my thesis, or that I am taking four classes. No, I am stressing about the 2 classes which take place in a classroom. And what about, you ask? WHERE AM I GOING TO SIT?

Deciding where to sit on the first day of class, as my fellow collegians know, is a make or break decision. This is the seat you will have to sit for the duration of the semester. Not because it’s assigned by the professor, but because it’s assigned by some mysterious social ghost who will haunt you if, god forbid, you decide midway through the semester you prefer a window seat.

The problem arises very early because A) you don’t know who is in the class and B) you don’t know where the instructor is going to sit. You certainly don’t want to sit next to the instructor, nor the kid who brings in McDonald’s everyday. Fuck.

Is arriving just before class begins a good option? Perhaps. But at that point all the choice seats my be taken. So arrive early. No no no! Then people will lurk toward you, or hover on the outskirts and the whole thing is just awkward.

I really dread being forced into a seat where I can’t keep a low profile. And, that becomes increasingly difficult when you are in grad school classes the size of bowling teams.

As you can see, the levels of stress involved in this situation are beyond comprehension. How did we get to this point as a society, where our seat choices determine how the next 14 weeks will go?

So, save me a seat or wish me luck!

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou

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I have recently come to the disheartening conclusion that Saved by the Bell ruined my life. That is, ruined my expectations for life by providing me with false promises. My middle/high school years were nothing like Zack and the gang’s and I now feel cheated:

First of all, I had parents. And they were present. And they asked me questions and made me clean my room and do homework and a million other things I could have gone without ala Zack Morris.

Wrestling wasn’t an option at my school let alone the premiere option. I never got to ogle at the likes of an AC Slater-esque physique in a queer little leotard.

I didn’t hang out at a Max’s after school complete with malteds and an awesome waiter who did magic tricks. I had to hang out at a smoky diner down the street where we sucked on coffee and smoked cigarettes, carefully watching the windows in case a teacher walked by. They did not have ice cream.

Love triangles did not exist. In fact, love did not exist.

The principal as PAL? Highly doubtful. The guy in charge of my high school was a scary black guy who hated all the over-privileged white kids (read: 99% of the student body). Not someone I really wanted to pal up with.

Homeless people weren’t hot friendly people I met in malls and invited home for Christmas. They lurked on every street corner, demanding change and barking various nonsensical orders.

Drugs did not revolve around caffeine pills that incited a sad rendition of “I’m So Excited.” Instead, they were much more hardcore and involved real drug dealers with pagers.

My friends and I didn’t “summer” at a beach resort that gave us all awesome jobs just because we knew Zack Morris.

We weren’t allowed to go near any oil spills, let alone rescue cute little ducks from them.

We did have a rival school, but we certainly did not carry out numerous and intricate pranks on them.

Nobody called anybody “mama.”

So, Saved by the Bell, I want my youth back. And if I can’t have that, can you please explain where the fuck Tori came from?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Orange juice

Quote of the Day: “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language And next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.” –T.S. Eliot

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12.22.2010

Awesome Gift Ideas


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It may be too late but I’m throwing these out there just in case you need to do some last minute shopping. And, if you can’t make the X-Mas deadline . . . my birthday is in January! 🙂

For your writer friend/Facebook obsessed friend: This stamp combines two awesome things: Facebook and real live paper!

For your friend who is obsessed with bacon but already has the bacon dental floss, bacon candle, bacon gum, bacon mints, clogged arteries, etc etc, a plush bacon guy.

For your friend with a sense of humor, cold feet, or a penchant to misspeak, Freudian Slippers:

For your Francophile friend (me) who likes breakfast (not me so keep looking), a French Toast stamp:

For your Francophoile friend (me) who has fond memories of drinking vin chaud in Paris a month ago (me me me!), the German version of mulled wine:

For your bad-ass friend who’s not so bad-ass that he doesn’t rely on his daily coffee, a fisticuffs mug:

For the cyclist in your life who, I guarantee you, needs to study up on the rules of the road:

Happy shopping and happy holidays!

Things I Live For: Gift guides

Quote of the Day: “People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” –Rogers Hornsby

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12.18.2010

Christmas Favorites


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So… going out today to run errands was a horrid idea as every idiot in the world was behind the wheel. So I need to get back in the Christmas spirit… here goes:

Favorite Skits:

THIS clip from MadTv which I unfortunately cannot embed but highly suggest you go watch it!

Classic SNL skits:

 

And this new one which quickly became a classic:


Favorites songs:

Favorite Drink:

Goldschlagger in hot apple cider… yum!!

Things I Live For: Hulu

Quote of the Day: “I have always thought of Christmas as a good time; a kind, forgiving, generous, pleasant time; a time when men and women seem to open their hearts freely, and so I say, God bless Christmas!” –Charles Dickens

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12.08.2010

I’m Back!


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And part of being back, means that I have once again incited someone to the point of leaving a dumb comment on my blog! Yay! At this point we all know I love it when this blog writes itself, especially during the busy holiday season!

The most recent comment comes to us from “me (at) fake (dot) com.” Come on, grow a pair and show yourself! Anyway, in regards to my bumper sticker help post (I went with a wild card: “Obama Spent my Change”) Mr/Miss Fake says: “You should probably go ahead and delete this blog. It’s impossible to be awesome when you’re a gun-toting, uninformed, right wing douche bag.”

Yes, I should just delete the whole blog for one small pseudo-political post I made out of 300+. I question what in that post rang to Me at Fake as “uninformed.” I’m pretty sure I wasn’t taking a stance on or making any comments about any liberal or otherwise agendas. Rather, I believe the post was a comment on Obama and the fools that blindly support him because they don’t want to work or pay for anything. The ones that elected Obama because they believed he was going to hand them everything on a silver platter. And, this is not uninformed . . . tell me how many democrats that elected Obama made it back to the polls a month ago? That’s what I thought . . . those people, my friend, are the uninformed.

The cliche of gun-toting, uninformed, right wing douche bag is a little played out at this point. Please get a little more creative next time, and perhaps I won’t think you’re a super liberal whose computer access I am probably paying for.

Now let’s end this political drivel and get back to more important things . . .

Pet Peeve of the Day: Lack of creativity

Quote of the Day: “You can fool some people sometimes, but you can’t fool all the people all the time.” –Bob Marley

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