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Well, like a bad husband, I missed my two year blog anniversary back in March. I guess that’s what happens when you neglect your blog. Oh well… onward!

I need a chessboard. And someone to play chess with. Preferably Bobby Fischer if I can find him.

When I was younger I used to play chess with my brother and our friends. How intellectual we were! Then I had a boyfriend who I played chess with all the time. But he’s long gone, like the chessboard he made me. Perhaps the worst thing I have ever done in my life is throw away that board. It’s been years since I’ve played and I’m itching to find a game. I’m sure there’s some underground chess circles in Chicago–what’s the password? I want in!

There are stands downtown where you can play chess with the random guy who runs the strip of boards (see pic). But talk about putting yourself out there; I’ve got to work up to getting beat by a homeless looking dude.

I know you can play online but that’s not how our forefathers played so that’s not for me. It’s like playing shuffleboard online. Or, it would be like if you tried to run a farm online. Insanity!

I’m not even sure I remember how to play. But I am sure about the moves allowed for a few of the pieces. I recall the rook being my favorite for the freedom he had. I respected that freedom. The King? Not so much. I would think a King would be allowed to do what he wants. But the feminist in me says big ups to the Queen cuz ole girl rocks that board like a hooker on North Avenue!

I don’t want to play chess so I can lord my intelligence over you (that’s what this blog is for . . . obviously). I just want to get back into the scene! To be able to say things like “fuck you for castling” and “checkmate, bitch.” Cuz that’s how I play chess. That’s how I roll.

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “I prefer to have my cab drivers to be from one of the terrorist countries. Those guys don’t need sleep, they’re all hopped up on hate and poppyseeds.” –Daniel Tosh

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