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So, we all remember when I took crossing guards to task. Now, it is finally time for traffic management’s day in the sun.

Does your city have traffic management people? Chicago does. Because apparently, as adults, we are not capable of crossing the streets by ourselves. This is what their jobs involve: waving cars through an intersection on a green light and stopping cars on a red light. Perhaps there are more colorblind people in the world then I thought? The lights are somehow not enough?

And, the other lights that aren’t enough? That little man sauntering across the street and his open orange palm counterpart. Because I don’t know what those mean either.

But I cannot blame the inanity of their position on them–these jobs were created for them by God knows who (although I’m looking at you Obama). No, the fact that their job exist is not their fault. The false sense of power they place on their position? TOTALLY their fault.

I never thought a shrieking whistle or shout would interrupt my innocent walk across a street. Especially when there is not a car in sight. But I must think myself pretty important since I deigned to cross a street on a red, regardless of the situation, regardless of the crickets chirping in the background. Whistle whistle shout shout. GET BACK. MA’AM. GET BACK. Whoa Whoa Whoa Broseph, I think I got this. Thanks. And I continue crossing the street. Because I can. What is this guy gonna do, write me a ticket? No! They don’t have the power to do that! But it’s so cute because they think they do! Awwww.

“Traffic management specialists” have got to be the lowest rung on the ladder of life. I will never listen to them. I refuse. Why would I respond to someone barking orders at me like I am a child when I am not even doing anything wrong? Who thought this was a good job to make another human being have? The amount of road and pedestrian rage these people are subject to must be a hell of a lot. I mean, I know I do my part in that equation.

So the next time you see a traffic management specialist at your intersection, look both ways, cross the street, and do your best to ignore the whistles and panicked shouts.

Pet Peeve of the Day: See Above

Quote of the Day: “I will show you fear in a handful of dust.” –T.S. Eliot

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  1. Justina on 2010.11.16

    I think about this all the time too… it makes no sense and is such a waste… it is good to know that they can’t write tickets, cause they sure have yelled at me plenty of times too!

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