Vanity Plates…

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Oh yes, I take requests. A friend of mine suggested vanity plates for a blog topic and there is nothing I like more than responding to requests.

What is it about the vanity plate? According to my Jersey-born, Philly identifying cousin, vanity plates do not exist on the east coast, or at least to the extent which we see them here in the midwest, specifically Illinois and Wisconsin. They enrage him as they do my friend who says that “people should be embarrased.” Except, I had to point out to her: anyone who has a vanity plate thinks WAY too highly of themselves to  be embarrased!

So I thought, why ARE vanity plates so popular here? A quick Google search of vanity plates immediately suggested that I must have meant “vanity plates Illinois.” Which brings me to the website of the Secretary of State who is ENCOURAGING THIS. There is an interactive tool where you can type out what you want on your plate and immediately see if it is available. (If you are bored at work this is actually quite entertaining…) Unfortunately “Awesome” is taken, shocker I know. So it looks like Illinois has their Secretary of State to blame, Mr. Jesse White. But I wasn’t fond of him to begin with as he allowed my grandmother to drive wayyyyyy past her prime.

People with vanity plates think they are beyond clever. Usually they point to the person’s profession, for example a doctor would have “I Heal,” and an accountant “Add it Up” or something dumb like that. BFD. No one cares. The only thing I care about you at that moment on the road is that you not drive like a fucking idiot. But that is ALWAYS too much to ask from a vanity plate possessor.

I must admit that growing up, my parents had a vanity plate. It was “Rock C;” they were obsessed with Roxy Music. I don’t know if it’s because I love Roxy Music too, or that I love my parents, but I must admit that plate was awesome.

The worst plates however are those that declare “I’m Sexy” or “2 Hott.” Really? You think I’m NOT gonna cut you off with an attitude like that? I mean really people—vanity plates just encourage and add to road rage. I have no idea why the secretary of state would promote these (aside from the obvious, being money).

If people spent as much time on themselves as they do thinking of a vanity plate, then humanity as a whole may just improve. Until then, we’ll be driving amongst some of the most self-involved people in the world–not exactly the type you want behind a wheel.

What’s the worst vanity plate you have ever seen?

Dedicated to: Lena

Quote of the Day: “I wasn’t born with a plastic spoon in my mouth.” –Eric Cartman

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  1. stevey m in germany on 2010.10.08

    I have friend who’s dad has the Vanity Plate “Road Hog” He is so damn pleased about it that he said one day he will pass it down to his son and he can carry on the road hog tradition…I will be really pissed if a vanity plate is listed in my parents will!

  2. Es on 2010.10.08

    OMG–road hog?! He must get cut off every day he drives. A vanity plate in the will… LOL! Too good!! Thanks for sharing that hilarity!

  3. Lena on 2010.10.08

    After being behind “citigrl” for 10 miles I just couldn’t take it anymore! What was worse was when she finally exited the expressway I was stuck behind “mr tee”. LAME’ thanks for tackling this most annoying topic Esley.

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