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I have quite the dilemma. At the off-ramp of the highway I get off at everyday, I see my fair share of homeless beggars. Recently, I have been really in a pickle as I try to discern which of 2 guys is really homeless.

This is why it’s tricky: one wears a 2010 Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champions shirt, the other wears a Chicago Bulls 3-Peat shirt.

At first, I called bullshit on the Stanley Cup guy–that win is pretty recent so he obviously had the 20 bones a month ago to purchase that shirt. But what if they were passing those shirts out like candy and I just happened to miss it? Maybe they had a lot of extras after they realized no one in Chicago *really* likes hockey.

So then you’re telling me the guy in the 15+year old shirt isn’t the real homeless guy? That shirt has a lot of miles on it, a lot of beggin’ miles–it’s a part of the classic homeless look. OR IS IT?

Because if I had a Bulls 3-Peat shirt that I could find, you bet your ass I wouldn’t be parading it around everyday. That shit would be worn only on special occasions. That shirt is an ANTIQUE. Worth millions. A RARE antique that this guy obviously had enough money to buy because clearly he was over in ‘Nam when the first 3-peat happened.

Basically, what we have here at the Kennedy off-ramp at Irving Park is an antique enthusiast and the only hockey fan in the city of Chicago.

So I ask: Will the real homeless person please stand up?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Fall not being here soon enough

Quote of the Day: “You can look back but it’s best not to stare.” –Tom Petty

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