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So, the most perfect food in the world is a grilled cheese. I could eat them every day. And with a side of mac and cheese. Carbs and cheese. YES PLEASE! But two restaurants seem to think the basic grilled cheese is not enough…

Denny’s (which I boycott because of their lies) has introduced the Fried Cheese Melt. A grilled cheese, with four mozz cheese sticks stuck in the middle. WTF. I can’t say I’m not intrigued and if I didn’t boycott Denny’s, I may indeed try that. However at 1200+ calories and 63 grams of fat, I’d have to fast for a few days before indulging…

Then there is the Friendly’s Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. Yup, you guessed it, a burger stuck between two grilled cheese sandwiches. Why would you ruin a grilled cheese with a meat patty, lettuce, and tomato? And that little delicacy is 1500 calories and 93 awesome grams of fat! Doesn’t sound too figure “FRIENDLY” to me… hi-oh!

So really people, why are you fucking with the grilled cheese. It’s like finger painting over the Mona Lisa or adding mayonnaise to a sandwich.

And people wonder why we’re fat and Europeans hate us…

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.” –Oscar Wilde

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I saw some loser wearing his visor backwards the other day thinking he was cool. Then I was like wait! I know someone who does that. And when he does it, it is awesome. I wondered why that was so, and concluded it’s because 1) he’s my dad and he’s the shit, 2) street-cred, and 3) the ’70’s (because I feel as if that is where a lot of this stuff came from and he’s just single handedly carrying on the traditions of his 20’s and 30’s).

So I give you a list of things my dad does that are awesome, but if YOU did them, you’d be a d-bag.

  • Wears his visors backwards
  • Pops the collar on his Polo shirts
  • Wears pinkish colored Polo shirts with said popped collar
  • Rocks Converse Chuck Taylor’s (well if you do this you’re not a d-bag, just a stupid hipster. He is clearly neither)
  • Really enjoys the works of Tom Cruise
  • Requests (demands?) “Paint it Black” at every concert he attends (his own personal “Freebird” if you will…)
  • Lives in Wrigleyville. Actually, he was the pioneer of that neighborhood.

Clearly my dad has reached a level of awesomeness that we can only aspire to…

Things I Live For: My dad

Quote of the Day: “Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” –Unknown

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08.23.2010

Bed Intruder


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This is sooooo funny I couldn’t wait until Random Shit Friday’s to  bring it to you guys. Watch the first video, and then the second. (And thanks to Em for brining this urgent matter to my attention!!)

Things I Live For: See above

Quote of the Day: “Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends we choose.” –Tennessee Williams

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Wheelchair cat! Livin’ the dream!

Things I Live For: Black coffee

Quote of the Day: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” –Maya Angelou

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I have quite the dilemma. At the off-ramp of the highway I get off at everyday, I see my fair share of homeless beggars. Recently, I have been really in a pickle as I try to discern which of 2 guys is really homeless.

This is why it’s tricky: one wears a 2010 Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champions shirt, the other wears a Chicago Bulls 3-Peat shirt.

At first, I called bullshit on the Stanley Cup guy–that win is pretty recent so he obviously had the 20 bones a month ago to purchase that shirt. But what if they were passing those shirts out like candy and I just happened to miss it? Maybe they had a lot of extras after they realized no one in Chicago *really* likes hockey.

So then you’re telling me the guy in the 15+year old shirt isn’t the real homeless guy? That shirt has a lot of miles on it, a lot of beggin’ miles–it’s a part of the classic homeless look. OR IS IT?

Because if I had a Bulls 3-Peat shirt that I could find, you bet your ass I wouldn’t be parading it around everyday. That shit would be worn only on special occasions. That shirt is an ANTIQUE. Worth millions. A RARE antique that this guy obviously had enough money to buy because clearly he was over in ‘Nam when the first 3-peat happened.

Basically, what we have here at the Kennedy off-ramp at Irving Park is an antique enthusiast and the only hockey fan in the city of Chicago.

So I ask: Will the real homeless person please stand up?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Fall not being here soon enough

Quote of the Day: “You can look back but it’s best not to stare.” –Tom Petty

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