Microwave Popcorn

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Remember when microwave popcorn was the greatest invention ever? My how it has fallen from grace…

We can watch movies on a device as small as our hand, read books electronically, and become tan with the press of a button, yet we can’t make a fucking bag of microwave popcorn.

It seems that most microwaveable meals have figured out how long it takes to cook them. I’ve never had a problem with a Lean Cuisine providing me with the totally wrong length of cooking time. This includes using different microwaves, as we all know microwaves vary. But microwaveable popcorn? A range between 1 minute and 3 is not a range–it’s at best a guesstimate and likely a farce.

Awwww... Poor Debbie

Apparently, the worst office blunder in the world is burning the microwave popcorn. (If you ask me, it’s actually having unnecessarily long fake nails typing away all day, coupled with the odor of ¬†overpowering disgusting old lady perfume-accented by the greasy food brought in during lunch. But that’s just me.)

In each office I have worked in, there have been strict rules with regards to microwave popcorn. My last office I worked in, it wasn’t even allowed. Of course, leaving the poor guy who sold his son’s boy scout microwaveable popcorn out in the cold…

Where I work now, there are instructions posted by the microwave stating that you CANNOT leave the microwave area as your popcorn is cooking.

So not only have the microwave popcorn people not figured out cooking times, but this product cannot be trusted in the hands of lawyers and important business people.

I don’t know about you, but that’s an indicator to me that microwave popcorn is some pretty powerful shit…

If I had to choose, I’d take burnt popcorn over greasy McDonald’s ANY DAY.

Pet Peeve of the Day: When people bring greasy McDonald’s into small spaces (read: cubicles, airplanes, CTA buses and trains)

Quote of the Day: “The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it is conformity.” –Rollo May

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