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It’s been a rough week… this is what go me through…

(I prefer Jeff Buckley’s to Leonard Cohen’s original):

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Have I ever confessed my crush on Carrie Underwood. I think she is the most attractive woman in the world (besides my mom…awwwww)… and jams like this make her even more awesome:

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Pirate kitties!

funny pictures of cats with captions

 Probably how I feel at work today:

funny pictures of cats with captions

Things I Live For: Smirnoff Flavored Vodkas

Quote of the Day: “There was a time you let me know what’s really going on below – But now you never show it to me, do you? And remember when I moved in you – The holy dove was moving to… And every breath we drew was Hallelujah” –Leonard Cohen

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Finally, after four looooooooong years, the FIFA World Cup is back! And even though my hero, Zinedine Zidane, is no longer in the sport, I will be rooting for France because he is the one who confirmed my love for football:

The Euro Cup every 2 years is a nice hold-over, but I’m glad the real thing is finally back. And goddamn, if I were the Cubs right now I would be sending boxes and boxes of chocolate to the Blackhawks and FIFA…

Let’s go Les Bleus!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Being strung along

Quote of the Day: “You cannot  be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” –Wayne Dyer

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Driving into work the other day, I spotted a Jeep with the ubiquitous sticker declaring “It’s a Jeep Thing…You Wouldn’t Understand.” I haven’t seen one of these in awhile so it brought me back to questions I have previously pondered.

First and foremost, what is it that I do not understand? Is it that you are a douchebag? Because I get that. Loud and clear.

Perusing the information super-highway, I discovered a site to purchase said sticker. I figured this site would at least give me some information on what it is I need to understand. Except the description reads: “Yup, It’s a Jeep Thing, and most people don’t understand. But YOU do, so celebrate that knowledge.” Okay, not so helpful.

Maybe it’s just a really tricky PR stunt–buy a Jeep and you will suddenly be filled with knowledge on how to totally suck at life. (I hope that PR genius was fired. Actually, they probably have a new job–their the brain trusts behind the new Cubs slogan “It’s a “W”ay of Life.” Again, if sucking at life is a way of life then I’m all in…)

And why must these stickers cover the expanse of the dashboard? They’re never simple little bumper stickers–they are windshield stickers. As if your douchiness doesn’t blind you enough, you need to add a large decal to the mix?

Clearly, for some reason unbeknowest to me, Jeep drivers think they are the shit. To you and me, that means compensating for all the other areas in life which they fail.

If I ever obtain my dream of owning a wood-paneled station wagon, you bet your ass I’ll find myself a sticker declaring “It’s a wood-paneled station wagon from the 80’s thing…You Wouldn’t Understand.”

Things I Live For: Shish-kebobs

Quote of the Day: “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” –Mark Twain

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06.09.2010

90’s Knowledge


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We could sit here all day and discuss how awesome movies from the 90’s were. Instead, I have chosen to spit some knowledge at you, 90’s movie style:

“Give up hope–Dreams are for suckers.” —Don’t Be a Menace

“Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.” —Clueless

`“Whoa whoa whoa, Miss Lippy. The part of the story I don’t like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after an hour. He didn’t put posters up or anything, he just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy’s gotta think ‘You got a pet. You got a responsibility.’ If your dog gets lost you don’t look for an hour then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog.” —Billy Madison

“Don’t you say that. Don’t you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.” —Billy Madison

“Who knows where thoughts come from? They just appear.” —Empire Records

“You got to be a stupid motherfucker to get fired on your day off.” —Friday

“Why would somebody put a guarantee on a box? Hmmm, very interesting… Guy puts a fancy guarantee on a box ’cause he wants you to feel all warm and toasty inside…Why shouldn’t it? Ya figure you put that little box under your pillow at night, the Guarantee Fairy might come by and leave a quarter, am I right, Ted?…The point is, how do you know the fairy isn’t a crazy glue sniffer? “Building model airplanes” says the little fairy; well, we’re not buying it. He sneaks into your house once, that’s all it takes. The next thing you know, there’s money missing off the dresser, and your daughter’s knocked up. I seen it a hundred times.” —Tommy Boy

“What, if any, is the difference between a ho and a bitch?” “A ho fucks anybody...a bitch fucks everybody but you.” –Fear of a Black Hat

“It’s a small world when you’ve got unbelievable tits Roy.” –Kingpin

Who would have thought these movies were filled with such powerful life lessons?!

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who think the red/green lights at on-ramps are the word of God

Quote of the Day: See above

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1) Our team name is Domination Station

2) We had t-shirts made (see picture. I am a hell of an artist when it comes to arranging clip-art…)

3) We’ve bowled with the best of them and held our own, read: Dragan and the 2nd place team (who we SWEPT, what what!)

4) $2 beers

5) Gary, the guy who runs the show on Monday’s and told me I couldn’t pick up a 7-10 split… LIES LIES LIES!

6) My teammates, obvi

7) The addition of gambling via a card game (kinda like the passing the cup game you play out at Wrigley)

8 ) A plethora of bright pink, 8lb. bowling balls to choose from

9) Complete and utter domination

10) Awesome tunes that encourage said domination

And one reason it is not awesome…

1) We start at 11PM… for this old lady, that is LATE.

Things I Live For: See above; a work commute that is less than an hour

Quote of the Day: “Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” –John Jakes

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