I bring you marijuana themed trivia:

1) What famous Austrian-American said about marijuana “that is not a drug. It’s a leaf?”

2) When was marijuana criminalized in the United States?

3) What are the 5 forms cannabis comes in?

4) How many states have legalized medical marijuana? Bonus points: name the states.

5) How did “four twenty” come to be a part of the cannabis culture? (This was a surprise to me… don’t know if I trust Wikipedia on this one.  I feel like some stoners just made the entry up cuz they couldn’t think if anything else…)

Essay Question: Is marijuana a gateway drug? Yes or no?

Pet Peeve of the Day: Squares. And to be fair, stoners. Walk the line people, walk the line.

Quote of the Day: “Grass is a dangerous drug that can lead to such permanent ill effects as loss of memory.” –Ronald Reagan

I stayed out too late last night, this morning I’m an awful sight.

I can’t get out of bed, there’s suffering in my head.

I know what I need—to Walgreen’s I must proceed

for the delicious nectar that serves as my protector.

It cures my ailments from the previous nights derailments

and brings me back to life with the grace of a surgical knife.

It is purple, delicious, low calorie—affordable on any salary.

I will always long for Grape G2 when I’ve had one too many brew.

Fruit punch will make me lose my lunch

I hate lemon-lime and orange doesn’t rhyme.

Grape is the only solution — There will be no substitution.

Pet Peeve of the Day: Nutmeg

Quote of the Day: “You can’t sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock.  You’ve got to throw the ball over the damn plate and give the other man his chance.  That’s why baseball is the greatest game of them all.” –Earl Weaver

I didn’t know who this Justin Bieber guy was but from what I understood, he was taking over the world.  So imagine my surprise this past weekend, watching Saturday Night Live, when I saw Justin Bieber for the first time.

Really?  This kid?  At first I was like, oh he’s a cute little innocent kid, I can see why young girls would like him.  Kinda like a Jonas Brothers thing I guess, non-threatening if you will.  But then he started busting out some “dance moves” and “rap.”  Whoa Justin Bieber, whoa.  I thought his whole act was part of the comedy sketching (and actually part of it was, and that was kinda funny).  But when it came time for him to hit the stage to “sing” (which is apparently what he does for a living…) it got weird.

You are not black.  You have not hit puberty.  You are not a rapper.  You are not a dancer.  You are not American. (That’s right, I Wikipedia-ed his ass and found out he was *gasp-but-not-in-a-shocked-way* Canadian!)

So cut the crap Bieber.  And cut your bangs. 

Someone please give this kid a fucking promise ring and put him back in his place.

Things I Live For: Professors who don’t have some sort of personal vendetta against me

Quote of the Day: “She’s got everything she needs, she’s an artist, she don’t look back. She can take the dark out of the nighttime and paint the daytime black.” — Bob Dylan

I’m pretty sure one of the reasons to subscribe to magazines is because you get them well before they are on the newsstands.  Yet somehow, you manage to get me my April magazines at the end of March.  I know I have an obsession with magazines and that perhaps my subscriptions are more than you can handle.  Normally I would be willing to excuse the tardiness of your delivery, but there are things in our relationship that cause me to dislike you past the point of forgiveness. 

For example, I may not get my Country Living every month on time, but you can bet that you fill  my mailbox with every bridal and wedding catalogue that exists in the free world.  Here’s a hint, I’m NOT getting married.  Further, I WAS getting married until my EX-fiancee decided it was too hot in the kitchen (after it was his idea to get married…)  So now, these unsolicited catalogues and circulars just serve as a bitter reminder of a failed relationship.  Not that that is your fault…

But here’s what is.  You may have noticed that the other name that was on my mailbox has been amateurly scratched out.  One night in a fit of sadness and rage, I had to erase my EX-fiancees name because I could not bear to walk by that box one more time and see it there.  (This was less embarrassing than asking my management company to outfit me with another nameplate just 5 months after I had a second name added to the current nameplate).  So, as a person who deals daily in mailboxes, I would think you would have noticed that the additional name was there and then all of a sudden wasn’t.  And perhaps you could have put two and two together, shown some compassion. 

Yet you decided to write me a little note on one of my letters asking me to put “EX-fiancees” name on the box if he wanted his mail delivered.  Well Mr. Mailman, clearly you can see that the name has been erased from my mailbox and as such, so has EX-fiancee from my life.  So, return to sender. 

But really, EX-fiancee doesn’t get any mail here.  Because you delivered his mail to me anyway.  And what you delivered Mr. Mailman, was a Maxim magazine which I subscribed to as a gift/surprise for EX-fiancee.  Wow, I’m so glad you manage to get his magazines to him on time, despite your threats.  How come my Glamour or Allure have less priority than this Maxim?  

I will make a deal with you.  You keep the godforsaken Maxim for yourself.  And keep all the wedding shit too.

But give me my fucking Country Living so I can move on with my life.

Sincerely,

Your friend who is about to go postal if you don’t stop this madness

Pet Peeve of the Day: See above

Quote of the Day: “And if they granted you one final wish, would you ask for something like another chance?” –Traffic

A crazy cat I used to go to grade/high school with is releasing his first album today entitled “New Peace.”  And before you get all what-up-with-you-blogging-about-this-amateur-shit let me tell you this isn’t like “yo come see my friend’s band play at a bar.” 

Arlen Hart is legit.  And how many awesome pianists do you know these days?  Exactly.  If you need more convincing, check out this legendary piano interpretation of Outkast’s “So Fresh So Clean,” Talib Kweli’s “Hostile Gospel,” and Snoop’s “Gz & Hustlas”  (yeah, you read that sentence right):

So do yourself and your ears a favor and pick up his new album! 

For more on Arlen and to hear some music off his debut album, visit his blog!

Things I Live For: When Arlen would make scrambled eggs at 1AM when he was hanging out with Biggie and my young mind would wonder what kind of tomfoolery required eggs so late at night

Quote of the Day: “I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame.  I simply follow my own feelings.” –Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart