Admittedly, I have caught my fair share of MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen” where kids have lavish 16, (sometime 15) birthday parties.  When I say lavish I mean like the amount of money spent on some juvenile party is equal to that of a wedding (and these kids don’t even have an open bar option!)  All of the episodes  feature some core aspects that generally leave me confused and astonished:

1) The obvious problem with this show is the extent to which these brats are spoiled.  The way they treat their parents is insane; the way the parents are pushovers and tools is equally insane.

2) Every sweet sixteen-er seeks to have a “big name performer” at their party.  I have never heard of 75% of the people that actually end up performing, but the prepubescent kids seem to know what’s up.  I fear for our musical future.

3) Why do the subjects always want to do some sort of dance exposé?  They aren’t dancers by hobby, but for some reason they decide that their party is the perfect venue to showcase their minimal talent.  So they practice for about a week with some expensive choreographer (who is just laughing, shocked that he/she is getting paid bank to “teach” some imbecile to “dance” in a week), and then get upset when the dance doesn’t go to plan.  Why on earth would I want to perform a dance for a hundred of my “friends” when A) I don’t dance and B) I didn’t practice.  The egos of these kids is scarily surreal. 

4) They always get cars.  Cars paid for by MTV no doubt.  At this point I am just thankful that I do not live in Atlanta, Ohio, Houston, Florida, or LA and therefore I do not have to worry about these idiots on the road with me.  Because if you can’t focus for one week and learn to dance to mindless rap, I doubt you can learn to drive. 

5) The girls always want multiple dresses; multiple dresses that all make them look like hookers.  The amount of skin these dresses expose rival the amount of skin you would see at a nude beach.  It is ridiculous.  Another “what the fuck are these ‘parents’ thinking” moment. 

6) Everyone wants to make a “huge entrance.”  I’m talking horses, helicopters, topless men carrying them on thrones, limos, etc.  Where do they get this idea of “making an entrance?”  You’re fucking 16, the only entrance you should be concerned with making is at your graduation ceremony in 2 years.

7) Further, do not get me started on how horrible this show/message is for young women.  I could do an entire post on that. 

8 ) At the end of the day, (end of the show), I am left with many thoughts:

• Good luck in real life, kid
• I am never having children
• People are so fucking dumb
• I would relish the opportunity to run into one of these shit’s pieces
• These “parents” are so sad; I love the people that want to blame schools/society/video games/etc. for kids that are horrible human beings.  If ever there were evidence that it is the parent’s responsibility to raise their children properly or else, this show is it.
• Why am I watching this, I am such a tool, isn’t Judge Judy on yet?

Things I Live For: European graffiti; Fall scented candles

Quote of the Day: “When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything.  The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything.” –Shunryu Suzuki

(Please note– these are NOT “Frankenstein cupcakes,” because Dr. Frankenstein was the creator of the monster people commonly refer to as “Frankenstein.”  The monster doesn’t technically have a name.  What can I say… I have recently read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein for my Literary Theory class so I impart this knowledge to you… a good trivia question if you ask me!)

Anyway, last year at work we had a Halloween bake-off.  I wanted to enter so I searched many Halloween recipes and decided upon these cupcakes.  They are sooooo cute and relatively easy to make– the decorating part is the only part that is laborious; you just make regular boxed cupcakes so that part is a breeze.  So if you are having a Halloween party, going to one, or just want to make something fun, I suggest you give these a try– they will be a huge hit!!!  (I would also like to add that these WON me the bake-off so… woo hoo!!!)

Ingredients:

• Cupcakes
• Chocolate Frosting
• Large Marshmallows
• Green food coloring
• Mini M&M’s
• Chocolate sprinkles
• Gel icing (in the little tubes)
• Melt-able white chocolate chips
• Instant vanilla pudding
• Toothpicks
• Green tic tacs

These instructions may be kinda iffy because they are based on my memory.  So if you have any questions or are unclear about anything, let me know!  Also, steps 5 – 7 can be omitted if you like, but it just adds another fun element to these treats!

1) Melt the white chocolate chips in a double boiler (a pot placed in a pot of boiling water) or the microwave.

2) While the chocolate melts, stick toothpicks halfway into marshmallows (you need the same amount of marshmallows that you have cupcakes).

3) Add the desired amount of green food coloring to the chocolate.

4) Dip marshmallows in green chocolate and lay to dry on waxed cookie sheet.  Before placing them in the refrigerator, place two mini M&M’s on each marshmallow for the eyes.  Let the marshmallows harden in the fridge.

5) Meanwhile, scoop out a little bit of the middle of each cupcake.  I used an apple corer for this but a small knife or spoon should work as well.

6) After making the vanilla pudding, add desired amount of green food coloring to it. 

7) Carefully add a little bit of pudding to each hole in the cupcakes, filling them to just below the top. 

8 ) Frost the top of the cupcake around the pudding filled hole. 

9) Take the marshmallows from the fridge and dab a little chocolate frosting onto the top of the marshmallow.  Dip the frosted end into the chocolate sprinkles, creating the effect of hair.

10) Place the marshmallows back on the cookie sheet and carefully draw mouths on each one.

11) Let the marshmallows set again, and when set, place each one, (toothpick end)  into the hole in the cupcake.  Stick the Tic Tacs at the base of the marshmallow to create “neck bolts.”

12) Wow and amaze your friends with your awesome creation!!!

Let me know if you try these and how they turn out!  Happy Halloween!!!

Pet Peeve of the Day: Stoners, especially over the age of 21

Quote of the Day: “I don’t know, I don’t care, and it makes no difference.  And now I’m wise.  When the whole wide world is fast asleep I cry.” –Jack Kerouac

Trivia is just another form of random shit, so you know I love it.  Useless knowledge can help you impress people, or win shots at a bar.  It’s win-win all around.  So try your hand at these questions… NO GOOGLING!!!  I’ll post the answers in the comments section later today…

1) What is the only United State with just one syllable in its name?

2) What Welsh poet said “an alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do?”

3) What 2 letters are both symbols for 1,000?

4) Who was the first U.S. President to resign while in office?

5) In what comedy did Bob Barker make his film debut?

Things I Live For: Soup; Pumpkin Spice lattes

Quote of the Day: “My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.” –Vladimir Nabokov

Yay, Halloween is almost here!!  It’s certainly feeling very fallish and Halloweenish in Chicago and I’m loving it!  The clip below is the beginning to my very favorite Halloween special as a kid: Disney’s Halloween Treat.  Unfortunately the special is not available on DVD.  My mom taped it off Disney way back in the day and that’s how we would watch it, but I do not know where that VHS is!!  This is doubly horrid because that tape also has the only video of me as a child, which is a legendary clip in its own right.  Anyway, do any of you remember this special?

Actually this is an awesome clip too, Mad Madame Mim, my favorite!! (I don’t remember the talking pumpkin though, I remember a creepy man in a mirror).

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Pet Peeve of the Day: The laborious duty of swapping out my summer clothes for winter clothes, which I must do today

Quote of the Day: “We are more curious about the meaning of dreams than about things we see when awake.”  –Diogenes

I know you all have probably already seen this, but considering my brother just discovered it like a month ago there’s a chance you have been in the dark as well:  Texts From Last Night.  I just pray one of my Schlagger induced texts don’t end up on there…

And in case you haven’t linked this up from my Blog Roll, (and you hate hipsters/Wicker Park/etc. as much as I do) you simply must go here:  Look At This Fucking Hipster.

To encourage my Francophile-ness, I like to study up on this list hoping to use these words in real life: List of French Words and Phrases Used By English Speakers.  It is quite comprehensive; c’est magnifique!

This is simply the most legendary website I have ever seen: Jewgle.  Go ahead, Jewgel something, it’s fucking jokes!

Any other awesome websites out there that I haven’t discovered yet??

Pet Peeve of the Day: Being treated like a child in grad school

Quote of the Day: “Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.” –Tom Robbins