Super Sweet Sixteen

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Admittedly, I have caught my fair share of MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen” where kids have lavish 16, (sometime 15) birthday parties.  When I say lavish I mean like the amount of money spent on some juvenile party is equal to that of a wedding (and these kids don’t even have an open bar option!)  All of the episodes  feature some core aspects that generally leave me confused and astonished:

1) The obvious problem with this show is the extent to which these brats are spoiled.  The way they treat their parents is insane; the way the parents are pushovers and tools is equally insane.

super16-25ee98f6-1181-4428-bfc6-ec92ff0cb78b2) Every sweet sixteen-er seeks to have a “big name performer” at their party.  I have never heard of 75% of the people that actually end up performing, but the prepubescent kids seem to know what’s up.  I fear for our musical future.

3) Why do the subjects always want to do some sort of dance exposé?  They aren’t dancers by hobby, but for some reason they decide that their party is the perfect venue to showcase their minimal talent.  So they practice for about a week with some expensive choreographer (who is just laughing, shocked that he/she is getting paid bank to “teach” some imbecile to “dance” in a week), and then get upset when the dance doesn’t go to plan.  Why on earth would I want to perform a dance for a hundred of my “friends” when A) I don’t dance and B) I didn’t practice.  The egos of these kids is scarily surreal. 

4) They always get cars.  Cars paid for by MTV no doubt.  At this point I am just thankful that I do not live in Atlanta, Ohio, Houston, Florida, or LA and therefore I do not have to worry about these idiots on the road with me.  Because if you can’t focus for one week and learn to dance to mindless rap, I doubt you can learn to drive. 

5) The girls always want multiple dresses; multiple dresses that all make them look like hookers.  The amount of skin these dresses expose rival the amount of skin you would see at a nude beach.  It is ridiculous.  Another “what the fuck are these ‘parents’ thinking” moment. 

6) Everyone wants to make a “huge entrance.”  I’m talking horses, helicopters, topless men carrying them on thrones, limos, etc.  Where do they get this idea of “making an entrance?”  You’re fucking 16, the only entrance you should be concerned with making is at your graduation ceremony in 2 years.

7) Further, do not get me started on how horrible this show/message is for young women.  I could do an entire post on that. 

8 ) At the end of the day, (end of the show), I am left with many thoughts:

  • Good luck in real life, kid
  • I am never having children
  • People are so fucking dumb
  • I would relish the opportunity to run into one of these shit’s pieces
  • These “parents” are so sad; I love the people that want to blame schools/society/video games/etc. for kids that are horrible human beings.  If ever there were evidence that it is the parent’s responsibility to raise their children properly or else, this show is it.
  • Why am I watching this, I am such a tool, isn’t Judge Judy on yet?

Things I Live For: European graffiti; Fall scented candles

Quote of the Day: “When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything.  The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything.” –Shunryu Suzuki

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