Lately I’ve been looking for more projects to embark upon, knowing I may not have much time come fall.  I was inspired by this project from simplemom.net so I decided to pick up some decoupaging supplies at Jo-Ann Fabrics (note, never go here or to Michael’s without a coupon that can be found every Sunday in the paper).  I got a blank canvas (on sale!), some Mod Podge, brushes, and pretty paper.  I decided I would make this canvas to go in my bathroom which lacks any decoration.  I also got a cardboard “E” to decoupage as well.  I have completed 4 projects so far, all of them are super easy and look great.  Who knew you could use decoupage to create hip artwork instead of just collages of images from Teen Heartthrob and Tiger Beat magazines?!  You can create these too– all you need to do is know how to cut and glue!  Plus, this is a very recession friendly way to decorate!  Plus you’ll have original items no one else has!!  My favorite!

Below is my canvas.  All I did was take scrap-booking paper, cut it in circles (using a candle holder as a stencil; they’re not perfect but what is…), and arranged it on the canvas in an order I liked.  Then I mod-podged each circle on, and covered it with a final layer of mod-podge.  Next time I will paint the canvas first but I didn’t have any paint this time around!

I wanted to make something using the images from the Rider-Waite Tarot card deck because I love them.  So, I used Google Images and printed out some of my favorite.  I didn’t know what to put them on, but I decided on a cross since 1) I like crosses and 2) that would be sweet combining the pagan imagery with a traditional Christian symbol.  I don’t recommend decoupaging over printed images as they kind of fade, but this worked out ok.  I made the cross out of an old cardboard box I had, and I like that it is imperfect.

This is my cardboard E:

And, a picture frame (the pic is hidden to respect my mate’s privacy):

So I’m on a decoupaging tear!  This is my next project– I already found an awesome window at an antique store for $10.  There are so many great ideas I have and scouring Goodwill and Salvation Army for items to decoupage (mirrors, picture frames, small pieces of furniture, etc.) will ensure I keep this a low cost hobby!

Pet Peeve of the Day: When there is a line in the ladies room, and I go into the next available stall only to find there is no toilet paper.  The lady (bitch) who just came out knows I will be using that stall next… where’s the heads up??? 

Quote of the Day: “Be as sick as you want, just give me a goddamn bass line!” –Eric Cartman

Here’s an update to a hilarious video (the second one) from this winter (thanks James!):

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Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t read the newspaper, watch the news, or have a fucking clue

Quote of the Day: “I’m sick of following my dreams.  I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.” –Mitch Hedberg

Dear Carbon Monoxide Detector,

You are so wise.  How exactly did you know to start beeping repeatedly for “service” on a morning I had just fallen asleep around 7AM?  Did you see me uncharacteristically awake at 4AM, laying on the couch flipping through infomercials about miracle male enhancements and ways to demand money from the government that is rightfully yours?  Were you laughing at me as I searched, like an addict, throughout my house for one last, possibly lost, melatonin?

I’m actually kind of flattered.  You know me so well, you wouldn’t dare beep on any of the other 364 nights when I get a solid night’s sleep.  And it was sweet of you to make noise at a moment that made it seem like the beeping was in my dream.  How nice, who wouldn’t love sound effects in their dreams?

But, you were relentless, and I awoke from the dream.  I pulled a chair under my smoke detector, climbed up and tried to detach it.  Bleary eyed, I grabbed at it continually, unable to pull it down.  I was confused as to why this was so difficult to do– I am much taller than the normal person and therefore closer to the ceiling when standing on a chair, yet I could not get the smoke detector to budge.  Angry and confused, I turned to look at you, and you winked at me with a slightly orange light through the service slit. 

Aha!  You are the bully on the playground who points the finger at the innocent party.  What did the smoke detector ever do to you?  So I pulled at you, but you were just as impossible to detach as your scapegoat.  When did these things become wired to the ceiling?  I thought you ran on batteries (which I guess, thankfully you don’t because I haven’t “changed” them in the 2+ years I’ve lived here…)  My fingers were raw as I pulled and pulled at the wire, and you continued to beep directly into my ear.  So pleasurable; it was akin to sweet nothings, I tell you. 

I got you down, and carefully examined you as I held you in my hand.  You continued to beep.  Fuck, are there batteries after all?  At this point I’m beside myself and wondering why I need a goddamn engineering degree to figure you out.  But I see your reset button, cleverly hidden, and I furiously press it.  You finally shut the fuck up.  I climb back up on the chair and affix you back to the ceiling, all the time wondering if you were actually trying to tell me that there is carbon monoxide present.  I am ready to go back to sleep, but it is now 10AM and that 20 minute ordeal has awoken me past the point of slumber. 

Thank you, Carbon Monoxide Detector, for keeping me on my toes.  You have shown your true colors as a needy, attention seeking machine, and these are qualities I cannot stand in a human, let alone a little plastic box.  Me and the smoke detector have had enough of your antics.  But unfortunately, if I want to live, you must remain in my life.  So thank you for that early morning lesson on acceptance, I assure you it is not lost on me, despite my sleepiness. 

Sincerely,

Your roommate who will probably get carbon monoxide poisoning

Things I Live For: Legal pads; my crazy doctor who says “cool beans” after practically every statement despite being 50ish

Quote of the Day: “The years rolled slowly past – I found myself alone – surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends.” –Bob Seger

I love baseball and I love going to baseball games.  When I go, I always keep score (unless I’m sitting in the bleachers, because that’s more of a straight up boozing time).  Keeping score keeps me involved in the game, and I like looking back on what has happened throughout the game.  For instance I will say, this guy is 0-3 so he’s due for a hit; or wow, the Cubs suck because the Pirates pitcher who is hitting .109 just hit a home run off Carlos Zambrano.  Stuff like that.  On the scorecard I list the players name, number, and batting average.  My mom taught me how to keep score and she always added the batting average so I got that from her.  This is not a common practice and I don’t know why not– it’s vital information! 

I always keep every score card, and my dad and I joke that we will send them to Cooperstown one day.  At the end of a season, I usually have around 30 – 40 scorecards.  I like to look back through them, it’s like looking at a picture book– it helps you remember some things you may have forgotten.  Sometimes it’s a great game, a horrible game, or a funny quote you wrote down that you forgot about.  It’s just another slice of my personal history that I like to hang on to.

When I think of all the scorecards I have kept in the past 10+ years, 2 immediately come to mind.  I was at Game 6 in 2003 (if you’re a Cubs fan you need no further explanation, if you’re not, it’s the “Bartman” game), and I kept score.  I was still living with my parents then so the card is somewhere in their house.  I have not seen it in years and it is my sole mission to locate this (although if you could see all the crap in their basement you would know this is not an easy task).  I can picture the top of the 8th inning on my scorecard, all those little diamonds filled in…  dreadful.  I think I want to find this card because I still don’t believe that really happened.

The second card is more recent– one I kept last summer which now hangs framed on my wall (see pic).  It was Rich Harden’s first game pitching as a Chicago Cub.  I was there with Biggie and Harden pitched a great game, but our bullpen blew it.  The game went in to extras and Biggie and I, irate,  left to go to the bar.  Later after the game, we were walking by Wrigley and a group of people were congregated by the players parking lot.  Biggie said it was Rich Harden they were getting autographs from.  I’m not big on autographs but I dashed over there and shoved my way to the front of the crowd.  I thrust my scorecard in front of everybody elses baseballs and scraps of paper.  I said “Rich, you pitched an awesome game, you should have gotten the win.”  He grabbed my scorecard, signed it, smiled, said thanks, then walked away leaving many fans disappointed, and angry with me!  A shining example of how it pays to be awesome!  So I have a scorecard of Rich Harden’s Cub debut signed by Rich Harden.  In baseball memorabilia, I think this could be a pretty important thing.  So if I ever need some money, I could throw it on eBay.  But who am I kidding, I would never do that. 

Keeping score is fairly easy, but at the beginning of each season I am usually a little rusty.  It’s kind of like riding a bike I guess.  A really fucking sweet bike with a basket, bell, the works.  Americana if you will.  I urge you to try and keep score at the next game you go to.  Or, invite me and I’ll personally help you learn! 

Pet Peeve of the Day: People who don’t let others off the bus/train first.  Did I already do this one?  Whatever, it’s worthy of duplication.

Quote of the Day: “City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile.” –The Eagles

Trivia is just another form of random shit, so you know I love it.  Useless knowledge can help you impress people, or win shots at a bar.  It’s win-win all around.  So try your hand at these questions…. NO GOOGLING!!!  I’ll post the answers in the comments section later today…

1) Who is the only King in a deck of cards that does not have a mustache?

2) What Disney movie was the first full length animated feature to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar?

3) How long did the Hundred Years’  War last?

4) Name the only father/son duo to hit back-to-back home runs in a MLB game.  Bonus points if you name the team and year!

5) Who was the first Beatle to have a number one hit single after the breakup of the band?  Bonus points if you can name the song, which is a personal fave of mine!

Things I Live For: The fact that football is back; hairspray

Quote of the Day: “Promise me you’ll never forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.” –Winnie the Pooh