How To Be Awesome

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Unfortunately, Google-ing “how to be awesome” does not bring my site up immediately.  However, it does bring up some sites with tips on being awesome.  So let’s explore:

WikiHow has an article titled Be Awesome.  Tips include:

  • “Hang out with awesome people”
  • “Achieve something other than [a] high score on World of Warcraft”
  • “Join a sports team to help you get in shape”
  • “Whenever doing something awesome, you should try and do it shirtless. Taking your shirt off increases the awesomeness by nearly a third.”
  • “Remember: the key to being awesome is to do awesome things at awesome times.”

Those are some very enlightening tips.

Another site that comes up is a blog entry on being awesome.  It is quite lengthy and after reading some of it I am not sure if the dude is being serious or facetious.  He says the first thing you need to do to be awesome is “think about this every day: ‘The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.’ -Ayn Rand.”  Fair enough.  The next section is titled “60 Hours a week” which I assume means you need to work that much.  The author says “That’s right, aspiring bloggers – you too can have 70,000+ readers and write your own ticket to internet fame – but it won’t happen by playing World of Warcraftevery night.”  Ok, now I’m seeing a theme– are the only people that want to be awesome World of Warcraft players?  And what the fuck is World of Warcraft?  Is that the game they play in that South Park episode?  Anyway, next site, this guy is boring me. 

The next site is an article outlining 5 Tips for Being Awesome.  They are:

  • Make fun of people.  And when I say “people” I actually mean any person, place, or thing that is innocent and defenseless.  Don’t make fun of a cop, because he’ll probably shoot you. Don’t make fun of your brother, because he can probably beat you up.  Don’t make fun of dragons because they know how to use magic.”
  • Say awesome stuff.  Examples of some awesome stuff to say is like ‘In your face, jerk!'”
  • Be e-Awesome…  Because if you know how to be awesome in cyberspace, there’s a good chance you’ll succeed being awesome in real life.”
  • Get tons of chicks.  And then dump them with awesome lines like ‘You’re fat’ or ‘Sorry, but I don’t date Communists.'”
  • Fireworks. Irresponsible use of pyrotechnics is clinically indistinguishable from being awesome. Enough said.”

There are more, but I think that’s enough learning for today.  So go, be awesome, you now know how.  And quit that World of Warcraft playing 24/7… geez!

Things I Live For:  Infomercials, Nicolas Sarkozy

Quote of the Day:If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.” –Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes


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