I say a lot of weird shit.  I don’t call anybody by their real names (and if I do it probably means I don’t like you or know you that well), I make up some words, and say some unusual ones.  Here’s a vocab lesson to help keep you on your toes around here:

Vom: Short for vomit.  As used in a sentence: “A shot of tequila or Jameson makes me wanna vom.”

Annoy2k: I am fairly certain Biggie’s friend from college, Marcy, introduced me to the simple “annoy” to describe something as annoying.  I wanted to take it one step further, and the year was 1999.  Hence, Annoy2k, the most annoying of all annoying things.  As used in a sentence: “The Cardinals got DeRosa?  Wow, annoy2k!”

What’s tha date:  I’m not asking you what the date is.  It’s more like, I didn’t hear you/what’d you say?  As used in a sentence: “Wait, what’s tha date?”

Mobile: Cell Phone.  As used in a sentence: “Klinker, where the hell is my mobile?!”

Vale (Bah-lay):  It’s Spanish for ok, yeah, agreed, etc.  I use it quite liberally and whenever I feel like it.  As used in a sentence: “I will meet you there.  Vale.  Vale.  Vale, vale vale!!”

Euro:  No, not my favorite currency.  Urinate.  As used in a sentence: “I just chugged a bunch of water and now I gotta euro.”

Shit’s piece:  I was asking my Italian friend to provide me with some Italian terms and phrases I could use.  (He doesn’t speak English that well.)  So he sent me a list and on it was some Italian term translated by him to say “shit’s piece.”  I thought that was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard.  I knew he meant to say “piece of shit” but goddamn if shit’s piece isn’t funnier and more descriptive!  As used in a sentence: “That weirdo that kept stalking us at the bar was a fuckin’ shit’s piece!”

I also use a variety of Aussie phrases as I love Australians and strive to be more like them:

Jumper:  Basically a hoodie or sweater.  As used in a sentence: “It’s so cold, I better go put my jumper on.”

Runners:  Gym shoes.  As used in a sentence: “I wish I didn’t have a need for runners but I guess exercise is kind of necessary.”

Sunnies:  Sunglasses.  As used in a sentence: “I’m gonna wear my sunnies inside so people will think I’m a celebrity!”

And a term I made up based on Aussie-ness:

Flippies:  Flip-flops.  As used in a sentence: “I love wearing my flippies in the summer.”

I am sure I am forgetting some… but if you’re curious about what something I say means, just ask!  More often than not it’s just some nonsense…

Pet Peeve of the Day: The smell of blown out candles

Quote of the Day: “And she made a vow, to have it all, it became her new religion.” –Tom Petty