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The end of June always poses a problem for me; I venture into a drugstore looking for the perfect Father’s Day card.  Except, my dad doesn’t fish, fart, or play golf.  Further, he doesn’t attempt to fix things around the house only to break them even more.  Occasionally I find a card referring to baseball that is kind of clever, but that probably happens once every leap year.

So what’s a daughter to do?  Where is the card referencing the suit-wearing, intelligent, professional father?  Is it possible my dad is the only one to drink Martini’s and Manhattan’s at fine city establishments instead of burp-inducing beer whilst relaxing on a backyard hammock?  I know he’s one of a kind, but surely this can’t be true.

Why must all Father’s Day cards depict an antiquated caveman-esque father figure?  Are people’s father’s really the way Shoebox & American Greetings makes them appear?  These are the ones they make year after year though, so they must sell… A homemade card may seriously be the way to go when you take into consideration the utterly stupid cards available and the recession.

The feminist in me wants to say: “Haha men, this is the stereotype you get,” but then I think of my father and get angry at the discrepancy between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards.

Mother’s Day cards are all flowers & hearts, thanking them for a job well done raising the defiant teenager we all were.  Father’s Day cards are opened and display a message along the lines of: “I would have gotten you something more but I didn’t have enough money.  P.S. Can I have a raise in my allowance?”

They say parenting is a thankless job– for father’s that appears to be true.

Things I Live For: Nibbles coming in this weekend for Phish; Coupons

Quote of the Day:“My apartment is infested with koala bears.  It’s the cutest infestation ever.  Much better than cockroaches.  I turn the lights on and the koalas scatter.  I’m like, come back!  I want to hold one of you and feed you a leaf!” –Mitch Hedberg

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