(I guess Things I Miss in Chicago could be re-titled “I miss my Childhood!”  Oh well!)

1) The Bozo Show:  As kids, we all dreamed of playing Bozo buckets (the game where you throw a ping pong ball into a series of 6 buckets for those that don’t know) for the chance at the grand prize.  But if we weren’t that lucky, we were at least lucky enough to attend a live taping.  I did just that as a Girl Scout with my troop and thought it was the coolest thing ever (actually I still do).  We were sitting in the first few rows so we were able to take part in the Grand March at the end of the show where audience members parade around after the characters.  That certainly made up for me not partaking in Bozo Buckets!  Parading around with Bozo?  Awesome.  Aside from Bozo, my favorite character was Wizzo, the wizard who would cast a spell/do magic by wiggling his fingers and saying “doooo deedoooo deedooo dee dooooo!”  Legendary.

2) Walking up to Wrigley on game day and getting a ticket:I promise, this used to be possible.  Summer days when my mom wanted us out of the house, my brother and I would be sent over to Wrigley.  Usually we would use my dad’s tickets but on many occasions we had friends with us so we needed more than two seats.  So we would walk up, buy a random ticket, and regardless of where the ticket was, our friend was always able to sit with us by our usual seats.  No crazy ushers, no organized chaos.  Just a simple summer day watching a baseball game that rarely mattered.

3) Rainbo Roller Rink: Ah, the melting pot of Chicago’s youth.  If you grew up in Chicago, you undoubtedly went to a birthday party here.  I know that I went to at least a million.  Hell, I had one of my birthday’s here and I didn’t even like roller-skating!  This place reeked of sweaty feet and you were always unsure about how clean it was.  Carpet was ripped and torn, ignored and not fixed.  If you weren’t careful, you would trip over it trying to skate across to the arcade.  But the actual rink itself was quite large, complete with flashing lights and the latest B-96 jams.  I would love to go back there now and do a few laps around the rink.  The building, located on Clark just north of Lawrence, was torn down a few years go to make way for… you guessed it, condos!  So now where do kids have birthday parties?  Probably corporate chains like Chuck-E-Cheese.  Booooooo.

Things That Scare Me: Midgets

Quote of the Day: “My witness is the empty sky.” –Jack Kerouac

(Since my acceptance to Roosevelt’s MFA program for creative writing, I may occasionally be posting some stuff I’m working on.  Don’t worry though, there’ll still be shits and giggles posts!  Also, as with everything, copyright 2009, bitches.)

(Happy) New Year

Everyone is talking with fear about recessions and bailouts.  I quit my job.  Now I can take the bus whenever I want.  The only schedule I need to be on is that of the movie theaters.  No more rushing out the door at 8:03 a.m. to stand amongst the same faces every morning.  I no longer have to glare at the girl who pushed me up the el stairs a few months ago as if she was the only one needing to catch the approaching train, or continue to wait for her apology.  On the train I don’t have to ignore all the 20-somethings busily chatting about taking time off from their marketing jobs to relive the glory days at their respective Big 10 alma maters.  Finding a seat on a crowded train car will cease to be the determining factor in whether I have a good day. 

There is a new cast of characters who lazily ride public transportation with me mid-afternoon – the elderly, disabled, homeless, obnoxious teenagers – people I used to dare to ride at rush hour lest they be on the receiving end of my rage for making me late to work.  But I guess I was just angry that I had to care.  We may not be going anywhere of great importance, but that’s the point.  Now, jeans day can be any day I want, and errands and lunches don’t have to be formatted into one hour episodes.            

Everyone is talking with fear about who will get laid off when.  I tell them I am jobless, as far off the IRS’ radar as one can hope.  And then I tell them what a proud American I am, hoping to soon understand why people from foreign lands move here solely based on their dreams and the promise of opportunity.     

Pet Peeve of the Day: Bon Jovi

Quote of the Day: “Hi, I’m Earth, have we met?” -Richard, Tommy Boy

This is my 50th Post– HOLLA!!!

Being that I am unemployed, I spend a good deal of time watching daytime tv.  For the most part, daytime tv is fairly dull and unwatchable.  But I found a silver lining, and that is my girl Judge Judy.  The following is a list of things I have learned from watching her Honor:

1) Never bail someone you don’t really know out of jail and expect to be paid back

2) Do not raise your hand if you want to speak in court

3) “That’s baloney” is a surprisingly effective statement

4) Know that you are going to court and for the love of God dress accordingly (No RocaWear, Fubu, cleavage, sweatpants/shirts, or baseball hats)

5) Do not co-sign on a loan for your boyfriend or girlfriend who is unable to get one on their own (read: love really is blind I guess)

6) “Umm” is not an answer

7) If you’re stupid, Judge Judy will make sure you and 10,000 viewers know it

8 ) Don’t have children if you can’t afford them

9) People really sue their parents and children over trivial things like ownership of a dirt bike or a $200 couch

10) Do not lend money to your boyfriend.  Just don’t.

You may be thinking about most of the above: “Duh, duh and duh.”  However you’d be surprised at how many people don’t know basic things.  I think that is the point of the show– to showcase foolishness– not to make sure that swarmy landlord gives his tenants back their security deposit.  If you must work during the day, TiVo an episode of Judge Judy and when you’re feeling down about yourself, watch the episode. 

Things I Live For: Paisley anything and everything, chocolate milk, when I’m on a CTA train that runs express and I don’t have to get off because otherwise I would miss my stop

Quote of the Day: “Inside the museum infinity goes up on trial — voices echo this is what salvation must be like after awhile.” –Bob Dylan

Don’t forget to wish your mom Happy Mother’s Day today!

“A mother is a person who, seeing there are only 4 pieces of pie for 5 people, promptly announces that she never did care for pie.”  –Tenneva Jordan

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!!