T-Shirts I Hate

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Coincidentally, I also hate the people that wear these T-Shirts:

ithaca2“Ithaca is Gorges”:  You try living in Ithaca, NY for 5 months and you’ll see what I mean.  In that span of 5 months, I probably saw no less than 70,000 people wearing these bright green tees.  Ugh.

Any shirt that references some sort of the female anatomy– i.e. “Vagitarian” “I’m not a Gynecologist But I’ll take a Look” “Save a tree eat a beaver” “Free Mammograms”:  These are not funny and dude, do you seriously think any self respecting chick will even bother to talk to you while donning this shirt?  The sad thing is, I have seen such shirts on boys (should be men) over the age of 14.  I actually had it out with the Free Mammogram guy.  That was an intelligent conversation.  You do not want to go up against the trifecta of me, Nibbles, and Biggie.  Avoid this by not wearing utterly stupid and offensive t-shirts.

jewEveryone Ones Loves a (insert religion/haircolor/nationality here) Girl:  No, actually everyone doesn’t.  I for one, don’t. 


Any graphic/ironic shirt– i.e. it is a high school sports team shirt, PBR shirt or one that says “Porn Star”:  We get it, you’re a hipster and you’re too cool for school.  I would tell you to walk away but your jeans are probably too tight for you to be able to move.  I’ll do the walking away, thanks.

Things I Live For:  The smell of lighter fluid burning (not in the pyromaniac way, but in the ooooooo someone’s getting ready to grill way), Friday the 13ths

Quote of the Day: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” –Lao-Tsu

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